Tuesday, October 13, 2009

WWE Raw Report

Date: 10/12/09 from Indianapolis, IN.

The Big News: Legacy isn’t getting along. Neither are Chris Jericho and Big Show.

Show Analysis:

Chris Jericho started the show by announcing a 7-on-7 Raw vs. Smackdown match at Bragging Rights to see which brand is superior. Jericho said he gets to wrestle on both shows but that he’s proud of Smackdown and will be the captain of that team. He vowed to put together a team to embarrass Raw. One of the women from Access Hollywood (I couldn’t even tell you what channel that show is on, let alone who they are) interrupted and told Jericho the show would start with DX and not Jericho. You probably should have gotten on that before the camera started rolling.

HHH came out and said that Shawn Michaels wouldn’t be on the show. He noted DX are the captains of the Raw team at Bragging Rights. He called Michaels and got Michaels’ voice message where Michaels was singing over his music. Michaels picked up and said his daughter is sick and he had to stay at home. Michaels noted he just read a book to his daughter. HHH asked if it was the DX book and Michaels replied that he wouldn’t read that piece of trash to her. He then corrected himself and said yes. With their book buried, HHH and Michaels hung up.

Jericho and Big Show joined HHH. Jericho put over Smackdown. HHH responded by calling him a troll, mocking Great Khali’s wrestling ability and saying Raw is better. Jericho said that Big Show would be on his team. HHH mocked them, saying that Jericho’s the pitcher and Show’s the catcher. Show retorted that he carries the team. Jericho and Show traded barbs and Show said he wanted to be on the Raw team. HHH acted all happy but then said there were no spaces and Show was sad. That was funny. HHH said Show would have to earn his spot by beating Chris Jericho in a match.

Big Show beat Chris Jericho via count out. They argued, shoved each other and slapped each other. They didn’t physically fight much, but after an argument on the outside Show got in the ring before the count of ten. I don’t like the fact Jericho and Show are already bickering, and the highly likely conclusion of Show turning on the Raw guys at Bragging Rights will make DX look like such morons for not seeing it coming.

One of the women from the show interviewed Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. They wanted to be on Team Raw but she told them they would have to wrestle in a three-way with John Cena for one spot on the team. The woman was so much better than the vast majority of contemporary wrestling interviewers.

Jillian Hall beat Mickie James to win the women’s title. The match was really good and not very good. Jillian hit a sloppy power bomb and put her feet on the ropes to win the title. She then freaked out in celebration and started singing. One of the women from the show appeared on the screen and announced she made a major divas trade. She waited for cheers but the crowd didn’t react at all. She then said Jillian would have to defend her title against a new Raw acquisition.

Melina beat Jillian to win the women’s title. They went for the primal scream but botched it beyond all recognition so they went to the last call for the pin. I’m at the point where I think they should just ditch the female wrestling altogether. They stink up the joint 2 times out of 3 with some of the worst stuff you’re ever going to see and the time would be better spent in allowing other matches to go a little longer.

As for the trade, I’m baffled that at the point they are trying to sell an interpromotional gimmick as a pay-per-view hook they would do a completely pointless trade that just emphasizes the reality that wrestlers constantly go back and forth between the shows for no reason. Couldn’t they at least have waited until after Bragging Rights if they absolutely had to switch around the women?

They announced Snoop Dogg will be the guest host next week on Raw. That should be fine. Hornswoggle visited HHH backstage dressed like Shawn Michaels. HHH said this was gimmick infringement. Michaels was on speakerphone and freaked out when he saw this on TV. Hornswoggle attacked a cardboard cutout of Michaels. This was terrible. Elsewhere, Beth Phoenix was annoyed about being traded and threatened the women from the show. Santino suggested Beth wrestle one of the women even though the woman clearly didn’t want it.

Cody Rhodes won a three-way over Ted DiBiase and John Cena. Rhodes and DiBiase came out together and it was basically a tornado rules handicap match. Rhodes and DiBiase used a high low and worked over Cena for a while. Cena came back with a double suplex on both and used a belly to belly, drop toe hold and STF on DiBiase. Orton came out and Cena broke the hold. With Cena distracted, Rhodes rolled up DiBiase for the pin. Legacy argued afterwards and one of the women from the show appeared on the screen to announce Cena and Orton vs. Rhodes and DiBiase.

Jack Swagger beat MVP in a Bragging Rights qualifier. Swagger dominated pretty much the entire match and won clean with the gut wrench power bomb. MVP’s only real offense was hitting balling. I’m all for picking a few young guys and putting them over as strong as possible.

Kofi Kingston beat Evan Bourne in a Bragging Rights qualifier. I like that Kingston is billed from Ghana now since that’s where he’s from but it is amusing he’s still doing the Jamaican gimmick. Bourne hit a spinning head kick and leaping knee and applied a half crab. He came off the ropes but was caught with trouble in paradise for the pin. I wish they were given more time but this was good. The Raw team for Bragging Rights is HHH, Michaels, Show, Rhodes, Swagger, Kingston and the Mark Henry/Chris Masters winner from Superstars.

Backstage, Legacy bickered. Orton said the main event would be a handicap match and he wouldn’t tag in. Elsewhere, Chavo Guerrero complained about not being in a Bragging Rights qualifier so HHH had one of the women from the show kick him low.

Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim and one of the women from the show beat Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendes and Alicia Fox. Jerry Lawler said that just because you’re a fan of WWE doesn’t qualify you to wrestle. No, you have to be a fan *and* famous, King. Then you get to wrestle and win. The woman from the show kicked and slapped Beth. Kelly gave Rosa a handspring elbow, the woman snapped Rosa’s neck on the ropes, and Kelly hit a leg drop for the pin. The woman from the show was cute and likeable so this didn’t bother me as much as it might have otherwise.

Miz came out with the US Title to gloat. He said that he would face the Intercontinental champion at Smackdown. He waited for applause, but again there was no reaction whatsoever from the crowd. He then put down John Morrison, saying he was the talent of the tag team. The crowd did scream along at the end with his catchphrase about being awesome, which is a good sign.

Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes beat Randy Orton and John Cena. Orton said prior to the match that he told Snoop Dogg next week will be Cena’s last match on Raw, and Cena will be in one of the biggest matches of his career. Orton was proven to be a liar, as instead Cena will wrestle HHH again next week.

Rhodes and DiBiase worked over Cena for a while, but for some reason after Cena hit a Cena slam Orton decided to look down and not pay attention so Cena was able to tag himself in despite Orton’s wishes. Rhodes and DiBiase went for rollups on Orton, who tagged back in Cena. Cena hit a Cena slam and five knuckle on DiBiase, at which point Orton decided to tag himself back in. He attacked Cena, and DiBiase then rolled up Orton for the pin. Cena gave Orton an FU after the match.

This match seemed really illogical to me. I just don’t buy that someone in a tag match who is determined not to be tagged could somehow stop paying attention and end up tagged in anyway. More illogical was Orton tagging himself in later when Cena was offense. Why wouldn’t he just attack Cena without tagging? What possible benefit did he get from tagging in?

Final Thoughts:

This was an average show by recent Raw standards. One note on the guest hosts is they really need to switch up the formula. The premise is that these hosts from vastly different backgrounds are running the show, yet the shows are actually more formulaic with the hosts rather than less. The host announces a match at the beginning of the show. The host does a few “comedy” segments backstage, usually involving Santino. The host shoots a minor angle. And then the host says goodbye before the main event. It’s totally cookie cutter. I wish they’d spend a little more time thinking about unique ways to use the hosts rather than a one size fits all approach.


Blogger Patrick said...

was it just me or were there way too many matches on this show?

1:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Todd, I think you'll find that they brought Melina back to Raw because they needed someone who could actually wrestle AND make the other Diva's work. She was doing that on Smackdown and for that reason the girls on Smackdown have been better than Raw. Mickie clearly struggles when her opponent is not up to standard (case in point, Maryse, Rosa and Alicia). Sending Beth to Smackdown (if I'm reading your report correctly - it's a spoiler for me in Australia) is a good move because she was really losing her way on Raw.

I'm still stunned that they haven't sent Rosa back to Florida after that botch job that you so accurately described a few weeks back!

3:43 AM  
Anonymous Bob said...

"With their book buried, HHH and Michaels hung up"

I don't think they were burying their book. I think they were trying to get it over as wild and controversial and something no kid should have access to (which will of course make most kids want to get their hands on it).

Yeah, the women are atrocious lately, even the ones that have been better in the past. Gail and Mickie both ruptured their implants recently, which is kind of funny since they're not exactly involved in hard-hitting action (at least not on purpose). I think the point of the division as WWE perceives it is made clear by the number of multi-person tag matches that involve many participants who never tag in, something that is almost never done with the men. Very disappointing, as women's wrestling can be very entertaining if done well.

I'll give Melina credit for fixing the ending by doing a different move, but, wow, that first move was just botched in the worst possible way, with them quite visibly cooperating on doing the move but having the timing all off.

Overall, anothing bad show. At least ROH had a good match between Kenta and Chris Hero.

4:22 AM  
Anonymous the masterbater said...

Todd, is it possible that Dan Snyder and Vince McMahon have an owners meeting? I mean they both have the most defunct organizations ever, and basically, they both really don't care what the fans think and only care about how much profit they make?

5:43 AM  
Blogger hobbyfan said...

While I'm not totally on board with how Mickie lost the Diva title to Jillian, as soon as Nancy O'Dell announced the trade had been made, I figured that's the real reason why they did it. Mickie vs. Michelle vs. Beth will keep things interesting for the winter. More later.

Hunter having to improv by having Mark Yeaton do the jogging laps, a la HBK, didn't make sense at first, but then he called HBK up so everyone got the 411. Then he stirs up things between the tag champs in a classic piece of comedy that was inspired, no doubt by the Bugs vs. Daffy feud back in the day. Only thing is, the toons were better.

Is Big Show going to be a mole for Smackdown? Maybe, but maybe not. It is, after all, to the point where he makes his annual face run.....!

For all the talk about how Legacy had been all but buried, I think the two matches were a collective redemption and the start of the breakup of that group. Orton looks too much like an Egyptian with the tan offsetting his tats. Christopher Daniels should look into a little "gimmick infringement" suit of his own.

Hornswoggle has officially jumped the shark.

I logged on right before Raw, and got the news that Maria Menounos had suffered a hamstring injury over the weekend prepping for her match. That's why she wasn't in there that long.

Santino has also jumped the shark, but in truth he did that months ago.

I'm figuring Mark Henry for the 7th & final spot on Team Raw, so that would set up 4 faces & 3 heels instead of the other way around. Makes perfect sense, and Smackdown would be made to look like they will lose, since their top 5 guys are all in other matches. Figure Team Smackdown will include the following (not including Jericho):

Kane, Matt Hardy, Dolph Ziggler, Mike Knox, Finlay, Drew McIntyre or R-Truth. Figure Drew & Ziggy will get the rub for sure, but not sure about the exact lineup.

I don't watch "Access Hollywood", either. It's on in late night where I am, and I have 0 use for gossip shows.

Mizizzle dressed in the dark. How else to explain him looking so un-Miz? He dressed like a preppie! Ack!

6:41 AM  
Anonymous #1 HHH Hater said...

I want to know what all the importance is in being in this Team?? I mean does the winner get a title shot? What’s so important about it, what is the value and what is the gain? Can someone explain to me other than it’s another pay per view show? There is no history to this, it’s not like Survivor Series, and there is no tradition. They just putting guys to jump into this team and so they can face another brand, did they forget that ECW is another brand? Why don’t they just make it a triple threat tag now? I just don’t get it. The winner gets bragging rights? Is that what they want to sell? Bragging rights? I am trying to figure the question out, why???? PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME? WWE IS LAME!!!

7:44 AM  
Blogger brian said...

"Elsewhere, Chavo Guerrero complained about not being in a Bragging Rights qualifier so HHH had one of the women from the show kick him low."

Granted I haven't watched Raw for a while but this sounds really unentertaining. Is it really just HHH running around bullying everyone? One of the last times I saw Raw he was making fun of MVP, so it doesn't sound like much has changed. I just don't find HHH acting like a jerk all that entertaining.

He wouldn't be so smug if Warrior was around!

10:29 AM  
Blogger AKFooFighter said...

The opening segment = another installment of "As HHH's Ego Turns"...man, what quality stuff.

- Matt in Anchorage

1:30 PM  
Anonymous Wrestling News said...

As someone else said, what a really untertaining thing to do regarding Chavo Guerrero being kicked by one of the women because he wasn't in a match.

And even worse: Hornswoggle being dressed as Shawn Michaels...and Triple H having trouble containing Horny?

I enjoy the ex-wrestlers as guest hosts...but obviously that's not going to get hollywood people interested.

1:45 PM  
Anonymous DW said...

Before I start ranting about the foolishness that was Raw last night, or rather, as AKFooFigher so aptly proclaimed, "As HHH's Ego Turns....," here's an interesting tidbit that tells us all something we already know - that Vince McMahon (and company) is insane. From the Associated Press:

"WWE chairman Vince McMahon discussed the switch to PG programming with the AP. 'We just followed our audience and tried to listen to them,' McMahon said. 'It's a more sophisticated product. It's just the right move business-wise, but more specifically the right move in terms of reaching our audience.'"
"McMahon also used the word sophisticated to explain why UFC isn't competition. 'You really can't compete with that,' he said. 'Why not deliver a more sophisticated product and not go to those extremes? If the audience wants those extremes, they know where to go and how to get it.'"

Hmmmm....women pulling each other's hair, sledgehammers, steel chairs, bad comedy that wouldn't even be good enough for the vaudeville hook, matches and events that have no logic whatsoever, and a pseudo-script that is lorded over by an egotistical bastard who removes himself from the show and controls all the proceedings like some Grand Guignol puppeteer to soothe his insatiable desire for stardom (that can only be fleeting for such an untalented prick).. That's sophisticated?

What an ass McMahon is. He deserves Triple H. They deserve each other. Trouble is, none of us deserve either of them.

4:51 PM  
Blogger hobbyfan said...

Actually, Vince hasn't completely removed himself. All ya need do is tune in to Smackdown on Fridays and see him revisit 2003 in sabotaging the blue brand.

6:06 PM  
Anonymous DW said...

I was referring to Triple H as the person removing himself from the proceedings.... And by that I mean, everybody else follows the (pathetic) script but Triple H acts like he's above it.

Sorry if I wasn't clear about that. Vince sucks too, but Triple H is the "in your face" presence on Raw.

6:55 PM  
Anonymous DW said...

There's not much good to say about the Access Hollywood chicks. It's bad when the hosts trash the people whose show they were invited on. I get the whole boring "put down the heels constantly thing" that the WWE engages in, but that should be from internal folks - or at least a guest host who may have achieved something, not a couple of "never was" chicks who will be forgotten in a couple of years (if that long). These two came across as unlikeable, repulsively superior and conceited. Wait a minute - that's just like Triple H!

Triple H's opening - 20 minutes of boredom. (They didn't even have time for Masters vs Henry, a qualifying match - because that idiot wanted more air time than he deserved.) Can it be any more clear that he's taken over as both star and director? Usually people get sick of egotistical bastards who throw their weight around via their connections, but it seems like the mindless people who attend these shows don't care. So, we're stuck with this prick. I'm still unsure why Trips is making the gay putdowns. It crosses the line of irreverence and there's no point in cracking jokes like that. And again, Trips' relationship with HBK is far more gay looking than anything Ted or Cody have displayed. I get the bad humor; I just don't get why Trips thinks it shouldn't be aimed at himself too. Fool.

The return of Melina was another predictable moment. I like Melina, but her return last night wasn't exactly memorable. They actually should have let Jillian carry the belt for a short time - at least she makes an attempt to be funny and it would be something different. So damn cookie cutter. What's the draw? And as for Melina coming back to Raw to add depth - she flubbed her first move so I'm not sure she's much better than the Raw women at this point. Bringing her back so abruptly only illustrates the fact that the WWE has no idea how to recruit talent. There are plenty of people in the indies they can move up - and so far they've failed with all the new women - and several of the men. I think the WWE could use some new recruiting people - and since I hear that Triple H and HBK are involved in that - we could start there. Pink slips all around. Too bad the head (in his own mind) honcho married into the family - only divorce papers will get him out.

7:21 PM  
Anonymous Steve Khan said...

When Hornswoggle kicked the cardboard cutout of Michaels, Lawler called it 'Sweet Knee Music', blowing the perfect opportunity to call it 'Sweet SHIN Music'.

Everything is terrible.

10:56 AM  

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