Tuesday, October 06, 2009

WWE Raw Report

Date: 10/05/09 from Wilkes-Barre, PA.

The Big News: Ben Roethlisberger’s presence ignited a feud between DX and Jerishow.

Show Analysis:

Ben Roethlisberger came out to start the show. He received a mixture of boos and cheers. He handled that well, laughing it off and noting the Eagles/Steelers divide in this part of Pennsylvania. He then announced he had a great idea to start the show, a diva bowl. How novel. It’s funny how seemingly every host has the same unique idea of putting the women in a theme match (Roethlisberger, Floyd Mayweather, Seth Green, probably others).

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, the Bella twins, Maria, Eva Torres and Melina beat Natalya, Layla, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, Jillian Hall, Beth Phoenix and Michelle McCool. Gail Kim was the referee. Since it was a bowl, the faces dressed in Steelers uniforms and the heels didn’t. Couldn’t they just have dressed them in Broncos uniforms or something? As some sort of practical joke, Rosa and Mickie started the match. Rosa did a wacky pose and then screwed up a kick spot. It was just like old times. They quickly went through a bunch of spots. Mickie went over strong with an implant DDT on Michelle and then pinned Alicia with a victory roll.

Randy Orton came out and bragged about beating John Cena. Cena joined him. Cena started with horrible goofy facials like he was totally cool about losing the title. The first thing out of his mouth was then an asinine “WWE Universe” reference. You just lost your title and the first thing you have to do is plug your obnoxious corporate buzzwords?

Cena said that Orton did win, but then went right back to another “WWE Universe” reference by saying that he was just happy that the crowd was into the Orton-Cena match. Apparently entertaining is more important than winning for Cena. That’s just great. Cena then said that Orton-Cena had become “the” rivalry that always produces amazing moments. Do you think he could go any more over-the-top with the hyperbole? The answer, by the way, is yes.

After his third WWE Universe reference in a minute (we’re going to shove our buzzwords down your throats whether you like it or not), he challenged Orton to a 60 minute iron man match for Bragging Rights. He said this match would be (no joke) “epic,” “remarkable,” and “legendary.” No way this match can under-deliver now.

Orton said that he would accept the rematch, but if Orton wins Cena will be off Raw. Evidently they’re changing the title yet again. I’m not sure why given Cena has the automatic rematch clause anyway, but Cena accepted this. Orton then added it would be no-DQ and no count out and Cena agreed to that. I hated this promo by Cena more than any other in years for all the reasons I just recounted. It was like the perfect example of what’s gone wrong with wrestling promos in the past 10 years. Well, if it can even be described as a wrestling promo.

Jack Swagger beat Primo Colon. Before the match, Swagger said that he is a winner, that he wasn’t pinned last night, and that he will go undefeated for the rest of the year. I’m all for a sustained push of Swagger. I hope this doesn’t end with him humiliated repeatedly. Swagger hit a Vader bomb and did pushups. Primo came back with dropkicks but a springboard attempt collided with Swagger’s boot. Swagger then hit the gut wrench power bomb for the pin.

Backstage, some mentally handicapped individual asked Ben Roethlisberger if Smackdown on Friday was as big as the Superbowl. I was just begging for Brock Lesnar to do a run-in. Miz then came in and said that he’s awesome. He wanted a US title shot and decided the best way to achieve this goal was to insult Roethlisberger. So he insulted Roethlisberger repeatedly and Roethlisberger responded by giving the title shot but telling him that if he lost, he would have to say, “I’m the Miz and I’m awful.” Oh, burn.

MVP and Mark Henry beat Chavo Guerrero and Chris Masters in an extremely short match. MVP hit balling on Chavo basically at the beginning. Masters went to break the pin attempt with an elbow drop but hit Chavo accidentally. Henry speared Masters to knock him out of the ring and MVP pinned Chavo for the pin. Henry hurt himself with the spear and limped out of the ring. Afterwards, Masters attacked Chavo but Hornswoggle made the save and Chavo gave Masters a DDT.

Ben Roethlisberger came to the ring. Big Show and Chris Jericho joined him. Show said he didn’t understand why they call Roethlisberger “Big Ben.” They tried to intimidate Roethlisberger and asked where his offensive line was. Roethlisberger called them out. This shouldn’t be news, but these were some big dudes. Show lined up opposite the entire line with Roethlisberger standing behind them. That was a goofy spot that just looked ridiculous. Show left.

DX then came out and challenged Jericho and Show. They didn’t want the match but Roethlisberger made it anyway. DX and the Steelers all did the crotch chop together and celebrated, which was a cool spot and visual with all these gigantic men. Jericho and Show are really clicking as an act. I was one of the people that thought Jericho’s partner should have been a younger guy to get the rub, but ultimately Show was the right pick. Their tag team elevates Show, Jericho, and the tag titles.

Miz beat Kofi Kingston to win the US title. The announcers spent the whole match putting over how hilarious it would be if Miz had to say that he’s awful. This childish humor (name calling, “Mr. Ziggles,” etc.) is such a turnoff to non-children. Miz hit clotheslines, punches and worked Kofi over. Kofi hit trouble in paradise out of the blue but Miz fell out to the floor. By the time Kofi had brought him back into the ring, Miz kicked out of the pin attempt.

Miz then went for a rollup for two. Kofi hit a high double leg drop but Miz grabbed the bottom rope on the pin attempt. Kofi used a backslide for two. They traded punches and Kofi hit a pair of flying forearms. Kofi went for a top rope frog crossbody but Miz rolled through for two. Kofi went to dive off the ropes but landed wrong and Miz hit the skull crushing finale for the pin. They gave them time, they laid this out very well and the match delivered. It was the right finish too. This was an excellent segment.

They ran a video package noting John Cena got the Make-a-Wish Foundation’s highest honor for granting over 140 wishes. That’s very cool. They then announced next week’s guest hosts will be two women from Access Hollywood. I couldn’t possible care less. It feels like a shameless play for positive press.

DX beat Chris Jericho and Big Show in a fun match. I guess this is your next tag title program. The heels worked over HHH for a while. He got the tag to Michaels but the heels quickly gained control over Michaels as well. Jericho applied the Walls for an extended period. Michaels came back with an enzuigiri on Show and got the hot tag.

Michaels and HHH went for a double suplex on Show but he suplexed both of them instead. Michaels hit a pescado on Show but Show caught him. HHH helped Michaels get out and they sent Show into the post on the outside. That left Jericho alone with both members of DX, so he decided to leave. The Steelers appeared at the ramp to stop Jericho. Michaels and HHH brought him back to the ring where Michaels hit sweet chin music and HHH covered for the pin.

Final Thoughts:

I was really not digging this show early on (in large part due to John Cena), but it picked up big time in the second hour. The show was pretty consistently strong from the first Roethlisberger/O-Line/DX/Jerishow segment on.

8 Comments:

Blogger Patrick said...

I hated that Miz won the match tonight. He loses every week, he was pinned last night and they have him come in and win the U.S. title? That lessens the title imo. It's amazing how the belt has fallen because it felt so much more important when it was on Smackdown. Now, it feels as worthless as the IC title did. In fact, none of the titles have any worth on Raw. How is it that Smackdown can make the titles and matches feel so much more important than Raw? It's an amazing comparison between the two shows that one can get it so right and the other can get it so wrong.

1:39 AM  
Anonymous PeteW said...

Gee what a shock - DX won and Trips got the pin. Man, that just never happens! I'm surprised these two didn't pin the entire set of football players out there to show how super cool and fantastic they are. Actually I'm most surprised Trips shares the spotlight with HBK. I guess he needs him so he can always have the "hot" tag and make the save as the hero. How can anyone take anything they do seriously - and not just because Trips writes his own destiny. Its like watching your uncle get drunk at a family party. You know its coming, it can't be avoided and its always an embarrassment. In other words, DX.

4:01 AM  
Anonymous Bob said...

Pretty much a terrible show from start to finish, I thought.

I've always seen why Cena rubs some people the wrong way, but he hasn't really bothered me until the last few months. His promos are just so phony and stupid. I've taken to just hitting the fast-forward button when he starts with his goofy faces and his "this is all just a joke to me" attitude.

When did Hornswaggle go from hyperactive to mentally challenged?

I agree that Jericho and Show have done a lot to elevate their team and tag-team wrestling in general. Then they get turned into DX's whipping boys. I hope you're right that this is the start of an actual feud, which will presumably see them get their fair share of wins, and not a one-night-only demonstration of DX's dominance.

The guest host thing has really jumped the shark.

4:03 AM  
Blogger hobbyfan said...

It took one extra night, but Miz finally won the US title. Hoo-rah! Not! I just don't get why they couldn't do the title change at the PPV, just to prove Miz could actually beat two men (Kofi & Swagger). Now, he'll hold the title until maybe Wrestlemania at the latest before losing. I think Swagger, since he wasn't involved in the decision at Hell in a Cell, will be next for the WWE title, after John Cena dismisses Randy Orton at Bragging Rights.

And that brings me to that particular move. Why flip the title back to Orton, only to create this Iron Man stip match for Bragging Rights that practically gift wraps the title back to Cena? I just don't get Vince and his cast of idiots sometimes. There's no stability at the top because the insane, senile old man in charge can't keep his plans together for more than a day at a time.

Within half an hour after Raw ended, SportsCenter included the Steelers/DX footage in their lead-in highlight reel. That was fast.

As for Nancy O'Dell & Maria Menounos hosting next week? Cross-promotional synergy at work. Access Hollywood is produced & distributed by NBC-Universal, USA's parent company. The crossovers start here, with Andy Samberg (SNL) & Ice-T (Law & Order: SVU) on tap down the line. I'll be happy if they get Jeffrey Donovan or Bruce Campbell from Burn Notice.

Todd, I'm surprised you didn't get the joke in the Santino skit with Roethlisberger. That was derived from Steve Martin's "hamburger" gag from "The Pink Panther".

I think Vince should dump Gewirtz and the writers and let the talent improv their promos from now on. If you think Cena's material is bad, well, blame it on Gewirtz and company. Cena's capable of much better than this.

DX has never had the tag titles together, though Hunter & Shawn have held them with different partners (HHH w/Austin in '01, HBK last had them with Cena in '07). Maybe a short run in the winter would be the final chapter in DX. It'd be something different, and it would set up DX-Hart Dynasty on Smackdown for the titles. Agree or disagree?

6:05 AM  
Blogger s1rweeze said...

Tonight was my first glimpse of Raw in several months, thanks to morbid curiosity from Big Ben hosting. (Only flipping over during commercials of Vikes/Pack.) The best way to ensure I won't loathe what I'm watching, I've found, is to avoid Cena, Hornswaggle and DX talking segments. Miz/Kofi and DX/Jerishow were both very good matches from what I could see.

Todd, I'm surprised you didn't point out the theme of the upcoming Bragging Rights PPV. Suddenly fans are supposed to care about the brands, just on a whim, even if wrestlers casually show up on whatever show they want with no explanation?

6:22 AM  
Blogger AKFooFighter said...

What does it say about WWE's status when the Monday Night Football theme song is one of the evening's highlights. Man, that song rocks.

- Matt in Anchorage

3:01 PM  
Anonymous DW said...

Dibiase and Rhodes are nowhere to be seen on Raw. Well, I guess that answers Trips' call that Hell in a Cell would be the end of the feud. But I still don't get why they are relegated to the dustbin. Further, Trips announced that HC would be the end of the feud. Why, I ask? Because he ordained it? Makes no sense. Orton just won in the cell match and now there's a rematch. But not for Legacy. The lack of logic is astounding. But since the average fan is, yes I'll say it, a moron, the WWE keeps insulting thinking fans to keep the morons staring at the idiot box. And I do mean idiots when it comes to the WWE.


The DX lovefest with the Steelers was just another notch in Triple H's domination of the creative process (such as it is) and his insatiable, egotistical desire to be the biggest star pro wrestling has ever produced. He's put himself on a trajectory to get himself inducted into the Hall of Fame, a process which is totally unnecessary because the WWE itself controls the Hall of Fame so they put anybody they damn well want into it. Trips is a given. So why not just put him in the damn Hall of Fame now and spare us all his silly, egomaniacal antics, his control of every damn show and our suffering at having to look at his clownlike appearance and amateurish wrestling skill and lack of acting ability. Hell, why not just canonize the bastard right now so we can all really make some use of the worship we're forced to offer up to this fool.


A note about Hell in a Cell - did anybody notice that the main event did not involve a title? There were multiple title matches at the PPV, usually the big matches, but the main event involved no title. Hmmmm...I wonder why? Could it be that the King of Kings, the Game, the Shithead of Shitheads proclaimed his match more important than all the WWE titles. Does anybody wonder why he's destroying any credibility that's left in pro wrestling?

Raw is an embarrassment.

4:56 PM  
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8:57 PM  

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