Monday, October 01, 2007

Raw Report

Date: 10/01/07 from Cleveland, OH.

The Big News: Randy Orton made a “surprising” appearance at the end of Raw, laying out John Cena.

Show Analysis:

The show began with Vince McMahon and three particularly unimpressive looking jobbers. Vince guaranteed that he would win against HHH. He then said that the three men represented different disciplines of fighting – wrestling, karate and sumo. I seriously think this was meant to be a shot at MMA, but it was hard to tell because Vince’s idea of MMA appears to be about fifteen years behind the times. Vince then brought out HHH’s opponent at No Mercy, Umaga. He destroyed the three, who were labeled fighting champions by the announcers. Someone tell Vince what happened to New Japan when they tried to prove pro wrestlers are tougher than MMA fighters.

Jeff Hardy, Brian Kendrick and Paul London beat Shelton Benjamin, Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. They only gave these guys about three minutes, which is absolutely ridiculous. They had a hell of a little three minute six man tag. The heels got heat on Kendrick very briefly, with Shelton giving him a press slam into a stomach breaker. Kendrick tagged Jeff. Jeff hit an inverted atomic drop, drop kick and whisper in the wind on Cade. He was going for the swanton, but Shelton crotched him. Kendrick then gave Cade sliced bread #2, and Jeff hit the swanton for the pin.

Vince welcomed back William Regal, and asked him to look after Hornswoggle. Randy Orton appeared “on satellite from Chicago.” He said that he was waiting for John Cena, and wouldn’t appear on Raw. That’s carny for “I’m doing a run-in in the main event.” It’s a SWERVE~! The Highlanders spoke with Regal backstage. They said they didn’t want London and Kendrick, only a title shot. Hmmmm. Let’s look at their 2007 Raw record. 0-2 in singles matches, 0-2 in handicap matches, 0-1 in battle royals, 0-1 in tag matches and one 8 man tag win on January 1 where Cryme Tyme scored the pin. Does WWE understand what a championship is supposed to represent?

Hardcore Holly pinned That Jobber Cody Rhodes again. Cody went for a small package, but Holly wasn’t having that. He smacked Cody and hit the Alabama slam for the pin in around two minutes. I don’t buy that you can get over a young guy by having him lose repeatedly and eventually win in the end in 2007. Fans have been too conditioned not to believe in new guys and will just accept them as jobbers. But let’s assume for the sake of argument that this storyline could conceivably work. Assuming that is the case, it is only going to work with a top guy, so that the eventual win means something. Holly on the other hand, is viewed as a lower card guy. Every time Cody loses to Holly, it brands him as a jobber. And the win at the end won’t mean a damn thing. They need to get Cody out of here immediately to save his career.

Beth Phoenix said that it is just a formality that she wins the women’s title Sunday. She had Lillian Garcia announce her as the champion. Lillian did so, but then said that is assuming she beats Candice. Beth threatened Lillian, but Candice made the save.

Vince McMahon beat Triple H via disqualification. Carlito was the surprise referee. HHH punched Carlito and went for the pedigree. Carlito gave HHH the pedigree, put Vince on top and went for the fast count, but HHH still kicked out. HHH punched Carlito again, and Carlito called for the DQ. Umaga ran in and attacked HHH. They fought back and forth until HHH got the sledgehammer. Umaga left at the request of Vince.

They did another vignette built around Santino Marella “trashing” The Condemned. They’re insecure about knocking the movie since it isn’t very good, so Santino is really obvious in telling people to watch the DVD even as he purports to dislike it. Val Venis came out, and made some derogatory remarks about Santino. Santino attacked Val’s knee. John Cena backstage cut another cute Rock Lite promo that is totally inappropriate for a heated main event program. Cena’s delivery was still really strong.

Mickie James beat Melina. This is becoming a trend, but the match was really fast. Hornswoggle distracted Melina, and Mickie scored the pin. After the match, Mickie went under the ring after Hornswoggle. Hornswoggle came out with her bra. He then went back under and came out with her top and bottom. Steve O introduced himself to Ron Simmons, and said Simmons could be tougher. Simmons threw him out of the locker room, and did so again at the end of the show.

John Cena beat Mr. Kennedy. Kennedy worked over Cena briefly by throwing him into the steps and hitting a DDT. Cena abruptly applied the STFU and Kennedy tapped immediately. WWE certainly doesn’t seem to be pleased with Kennedy. Randy Orton then did a run-in. He hit an RKO, then hit Cena in the head with the ring steps, then gave him an RKO on the announce table. Orton counted to ten, like a last man standing match. This was a good finish to the show.

Final Thoughts:

If you liked last week’s show, this was a great show for you. If you thought it was utter trash, it’s probably a bad sign they decided to remake it. All the matches felt totally cut off and quick, while they gave the stupid vignettes plenty of time to breathe. Raw is a real mess right now.

I’ve got three fun articles up on MMA in the last week. Please check them out.

You can check out my take on UFC 76, parity and the light heavyweight picture here:

Here’s a look at the Strikeforce promotion, and how their business model differs from other MMA promotions:

Finally, here’s my live perspective from the Playboy Mansion MMA show:


Anonymous Eddie T. said...

So everyone is reporting that John Cena suffered a torn right pectoral muscle in the main event (even has an article up) - assuming it's bad and he has to leave, do I even want to picture the situation here?

Speaking of Cena, how ridiculous was that promo? I mean, he even said "ssssick sick freak" at one poitn to Grisham. He just forgot to raise his eyebrow at the end...

Disgusting show. Again. The only bright spot remains Santino, and by now they've killed his material, just his line delivery is tremnendous... Who would've thought?

11:56 PM  
Anonymous Dave S. said...

Cena is out 6-8 months. Although his absence will further thin out the main event ranks, Raw severely needs a shot in the arm, and hopefully they put the title on someone not named HHH.

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Bob said...

If they're smart, they'll hotshot the title onto Jericho.

After all the meaningless hotshot angles they've done over the years, this is one time where it would make a big impact and could be used to springboard into a new direction for Raw.

But they'll probably put it on Orton instead.

8:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You meant Melina went under the ring after the match, not Mickie.

9:54 PM  
Anonymous BOFF said...

Damn, Todd. You got to go to the Playboy mansion? Welcome to the big time. Did you smoke a blunt with Bill Maher while you were there?

7:37 AM  
Blogger Todd Martin said...

Sadly, no. Bill doesn't like to share.

3:07 PM  

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