"ECW" Report
Oh My God!: ECW was live again this week. It didn’t mean the show became more eventful, however.
You Fucked Up: On the plus side, there was nothing wrong with any part of the show.
He’s Hardcore: Hardcore Holly and Rob Van Dam had a brutal main event match.
Conclusive Finishes: 4 of 4! WWE is a stunning 8 of 9 since I started tracking this. They’re not letting me prove my point at all, and I couldn’t be happier about that.
The Extreme Rundown:
1. Bobby Lashley beat Matt Striker in a simple squash. Lashley hit a belly to belly, delayed vertical suplex, and used the dominator for the pin.
2. Matt and Jeff Hardy beat the FBI in another squash. FBI worked over Jeff briefly, before he tagged Matt. Matt came in with clotheslines and back drops. He slammed Little Guido and hit a leg drop off the second rope. Matt and Jeff hit a combination twist of fate/sit down power bomb off the second rope on Tony Mamaluke. Matt hit the twist of fate on Guido and Jeff gave him the swanton for the pin. This was a fun match.
3. CM Punk beat Kevin Thorn. Thorn hit a stun gun, back breaker and applied the Boston Crab. Kelly came out to root on Punk, and Punk broke the crab. He hit the uranage and applied the anaconda vise for the submission. Ariel and Thorn jumped Punk and Kelly from behind, but Punk cleared the ring. Mike Knox watched this from the entrance and was disconcerted.
Big Show came out and said that an elimination chamber filled with weapons will change the lives of every competitor, and will be barbaric. Presumably it won’t end with Big Show losing the title for pushing the referee. The crowd was chanting “what,” and Show hilariously said he would leave it to Nassau to be five years behind. I always hated that chant. Show said his title is on the line against five challengers, but he likes his odds because no one can beat him. Bobby Lashley came out and hit him with the title belt.
4. Rob Van Dam beat Hardcore Holly in a strong main event. Paul Heyman told Holly that if he won this match he would get RVD’s spot in the chamber, and Test gave Holly a pep talk. RVD hit kicks early, but Holly threw RVD into a chair and stomped a chair on RVD’s face. He dropped RVD on a chair, but the crowd chanted boring during Holly’s offense. It wasn’t really fair given they were having a good stiff match, but the crowd isn’t into Holly at all.
Holly hit a leg drop off the top onto a chair on RVD. He whipped RVD with a belt. Finally RVD came back with punches, a thrust kick, a monkey flip, and a kick off the top. He used a skateboard kick to send a chair into Holly’s head and hit rolling thunder on a chair. Holly threw a chair at RVD, but RVD recovered for a superplex onto a chair. He hit the five star on a chair for the pin.
Please Don’t Go:
This felt like the sort of one hour wrestling show I grew up on. There were a bunch of squash matches, and a featured main event. That formula isn’t going to help ratings in the short term, but it’s good for the product long term. I won’t be able to do the report next week, but I’ve lined up a more than suitable replacement. Hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving.
You Fucked Up: On the plus side, there was nothing wrong with any part of the show.
He’s Hardcore: Hardcore Holly and Rob Van Dam had a brutal main event match.
Conclusive Finishes: 4 of 4! WWE is a stunning 8 of 9 since I started tracking this. They’re not letting me prove my point at all, and I couldn’t be happier about that.
The Extreme Rundown:
1. Bobby Lashley beat Matt Striker in a simple squash. Lashley hit a belly to belly, delayed vertical suplex, and used the dominator for the pin.
2. Matt and Jeff Hardy beat the FBI in another squash. FBI worked over Jeff briefly, before he tagged Matt. Matt came in with clotheslines and back drops. He slammed Little Guido and hit a leg drop off the second rope. Matt and Jeff hit a combination twist of fate/sit down power bomb off the second rope on Tony Mamaluke. Matt hit the twist of fate on Guido and Jeff gave him the swanton for the pin. This was a fun match.
3. CM Punk beat Kevin Thorn. Thorn hit a stun gun, back breaker and applied the Boston Crab. Kelly came out to root on Punk, and Punk broke the crab. He hit the uranage and applied the anaconda vise for the submission. Ariel and Thorn jumped Punk and Kelly from behind, but Punk cleared the ring. Mike Knox watched this from the entrance and was disconcerted.
Big Show came out and said that an elimination chamber filled with weapons will change the lives of every competitor, and will be barbaric. Presumably it won’t end with Big Show losing the title for pushing the referee. The crowd was chanting “what,” and Show hilariously said he would leave it to Nassau to be five years behind. I always hated that chant. Show said his title is on the line against five challengers, but he likes his odds because no one can beat him. Bobby Lashley came out and hit him with the title belt.
4. Rob Van Dam beat Hardcore Holly in a strong main event. Paul Heyman told Holly that if he won this match he would get RVD’s spot in the chamber, and Test gave Holly a pep talk. RVD hit kicks early, but Holly threw RVD into a chair and stomped a chair on RVD’s face. He dropped RVD on a chair, but the crowd chanted boring during Holly’s offense. It wasn’t really fair given they were having a good stiff match, but the crowd isn’t into Holly at all.
Holly hit a leg drop off the top onto a chair on RVD. He whipped RVD with a belt. Finally RVD came back with punches, a thrust kick, a monkey flip, and a kick off the top. He used a skateboard kick to send a chair into Holly’s head and hit rolling thunder on a chair. Holly threw a chair at RVD, but RVD recovered for a superplex onto a chair. He hit the five star on a chair for the pin.
Please Don’t Go:
This felt like the sort of one hour wrestling show I grew up on. There were a bunch of squash matches, and a featured main event. That formula isn’t going to help ratings in the short term, but it’s good for the product long term. I won’t be able to do the report next week, but I’ve lined up a more than suitable replacement. Hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving.
posted by Todd Martin at 11:22 PM
4 Comments:
Todd, I'm surprised you have yet to comment on the complete lack of anything else being mentioned regarding the PPV. It's a week and a half away, and they have one match. How can they expect a good buy rate when they rush a bunch of matches together and/or bring RAW and Smackdown guys over?
Well clearly they're just expecting the Elimination Chamber to sell the PPV. But yeah, they really should be announcing more stuff. I would guess not wanting to take away from Survivor Series has something to do with it too. An "announce the matches the week before the PPV" system isn't going to work longterm.
Announcing all the undercard matches the week before the ppv (or even at the ppv itself) is actually the most authentic ECW thing they've done in quite awhile. But yeah, this undercard is going to be an absolute joke. They have Hardcore Holly, Mike Knox, Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, the vampire guy, Matt Striker, Balls Mahoney (who hasn't been on tv in weeks-- not that I'm complaining), the FBI... and is that it? That is going to be a putrid 2 hours before the elimination chamber.
Did you notice Punk say "PULL ME" to Kevin Thorn when he was in the Boston Crab? It was right in front of the camera...and Thorn proceeded to pull Punk to the middle of the ring.
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