Monday, September 25, 2006

Raw Report

Date: 09/25/06 from Oklahoma City, OK.

The Big News: King Booker, Fit Finlay and William Regal came to Raw to attack John Cena, and Cena has additional problems with a title match in a cage against Edge next week. Also on the show, Eric Bischoff cut the sort of promo about Vince McMahon and WWE that would have meant something if he delivered it a few years ago.

Title Changes/Turns: None.

Match Results: Kane b Johnny Nitro-DQ; Ric Flair b Mikey Mondo; Triple H & Shawn Michaels b Highlanders; Triple H & Shawn Michaels b Viscera & Charlie Haas; Triple H & Shawn Michaels DDQ Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch; Jeff Hardy b Shelton Benjamin; Carlito Caribbean Cool & Super Crazy b Randy Orton & Chris Masters; John Cena b Lita.

Show Analysis:

The show began with technical problems. There was some sort of problem with the power, as the lights and video screen were out. I figured this was a gimmick for some sort of surprise, but it wasn’t. Lita beat Candice Michelle in the first round of the Women’s Title tournament in the dark. Lita said that Coach let her pick the referee, and it would be Edge. Granted, this is only the Women’s Title, but that’s the sort of absurd, illogical stipulation that shouldn’t be in a title setting because it makes the title a joke. Edge speared Candice and Lita covered for the pin. John Cena ran in afterwards.

Coming back from a break, the power was back. Cena claimed Edge knocked out the power in the building to try to get the people to leave so they wouldn’t see Cena. Edge responded that next Cena would be claiming he made the power turn back on. Cena challenged Edge again, but Edge once more declined. Cena made a bunch of unkind sexual remarks about Lita, such as that she has poor defense and has a lot of balls pounded in her end zone with 11 guys trying to score at once. This became increasingly less subtle, saying she can be had for $10, but you will end up with an STD.

Lita pointed out that she is a human being with feelings, and Cena doesn’t have the right to make jokes about her. She said everyone knows Edge is a better wrestler than Cena. She added that the entire locker room is better than Cena, and she herself is a better wrestler than Cena. Cena said he could beat Lita with one arm tied behind his back, and Edge accepted that stipulation. Lita acted concerned by this. There was good interplay in this segment between Edge, Lita and Cena.

Kane beat Johnny Nitro via disqualification. Kane jumped Nitro while Nitro was still in his ring attire and dominated the brief match. Kane gave Nitro the side slam, which Jim Ross after years of lobbying finally called a side slam rather than a sidewalk slam. I proceeded to order an Oklahoma jersey on next day delivery and will be holding a Sooner parade through Westwood tomorrow. I’ve been bringing it up for so long because I learned the name of the sidewalk slam through Ross calling that move when Ron Simmons used to deliver it in WCW. In any event, Kane also hit punches, a big boot and was going for the tombstone when Umaga jumped him from behind. Umaga hit his butt drop and hit Kane in the head with the ring steps. This was a good angle.

Backstage, HHH and Shawn Michaels plugged WWE Magazine and DX merchandise. They told Maria to suck it. Eugene came up to Maria and when Maria told him what they said he fainted. This was a weird and not particularly funny segment. Coach confronted Shelton Benjamin elsewhere backstage. Benjamin didn’t back down on his claim that he has been held down based on race. Coach said he is a black man in the company and Benjamin should have come to him. Benjamin said Dick Cheney has more soul than Coach. Hardy came in speaking “street” for some reason and Coach made a match between Hardy and Benjamin. He also made Lita vs. Cena no holds barred, but said that Edge would lose his title shot if he touched Cena.

Ric Flair beat Mikey of the Spirit Squad. Mikey hit some punches, a drop kick, and slaps. Flair came back with chops. They traded blows. Flair took over with chops and hit a chop block. He went for the figure four, but another Squad member ran in. Flair threw him over the top, hit Mikey with a punch, and grabbed the tights for the pin. They really need to have Flair wrestle less. He has become as limited as Giant Baba was at the end, only he throws a different type of chop.

The DX gauntlet was next. They beat the Highlanders first. HHH distracted Robbie, while Michaels gave Rory sweet chin music for the pin. HHH then gave Robbie the pedigree for good measure. This was such a burial it made it seem like they have given up on the Highlanders. Viscera and Charlie Haas were next. They got some offense in on Michaels, who made the hot tag to HHH. HHH gave Viscera a face buster and Haas the pedigree. Michaels gave Viscera sweet chin music, but Viscera didn’t go down. HHH pushed him forward onto Haas and DX got on top for the cover. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch were the final opponents. They had a short match. Cade and HHH ended up bringing chairs into the ring and both teams were disqualified.

They plugged a three hour Raw special in two weeks, which will be a “season premiere.” I’m not really sure why they are doing that, but perhaps it will become more apparent by that time. They did another Cryme Tyme vignette, with Cryme Tyme jumping a guy coming out of an ATM.

Jeff Hardy beat Shelton Benjamin. Hardy hit some arm drags, while Benjamin responded with punches. He knocked Hardy off the apron into the barricade. Hardy came back with elbows and hit the whisper in the wind for two. Hardy went to the top, but Benjamin leaped up to the top to attempt a superplex. Hardy knocked him off and hit the swanton. Hardy covered, but Benjamin got his foot on the ropes. Hardy went for the twist of fate, but Benjamin grabbed the ropes. Benjamin was very confident after avoiding those predicaments, but then he walked right into an inside cradle. I really wish they would utilize Benjamin better. If they don’t have a place for him on Raw, at least send him to ECW, because he damn sure is better than all but a couple guys on that entire roster.

Carlito and Super Crazy beat Randy Orton and Chris Masters. The crowd was dead for this match. Masters gave Crazy a power bomb and the heels worked over Crazy. Crazy hit a flying head scissors and tagged Carlito. It broke into a brawl. Crazy missed a moonsault on Orton, and Orton gave Crazy a neck breaker. Masters went for the Masterlock on Carlito, but Carlito escaped and hit the back cracker for the pin. Orton gave Carlito the RKO from behind after the match.

Coach said he had something that he hoped would please Vince McMahon, and he introduced Eric Bischoff. Bischoff thanked Coach, but expressed bitterness about being fired by Vince. He plugged his book, and said it has a lot of things that will piss off Vince. He said Raw wouldn’t exist in its current form were it not for WCW Nitro. He added that there would be no DX if not for the NWO. He said that there would be no Vince McMahon without Eric Bischoff. He continued until they played music to cut him off and Coach and Bischoff got into an argument. It’s a shame he didn’t cut this sort of promo when he debuted on Raw, because they could have done something with Bischoff vs. McMahon then when it felt more real.

John Cena beat Lita with one arm tied behind his back. Cena caught her with a one armed FU quickly and scored the pin. That was the smartest way to handle this setup, because a longer match would likely either make Cena look weak or make Lita seem sympathetic. William Regal, Finlay and King Booker came in after the match and jumped Cena. Finlay hit him repeatedly with the shillelagh. They went after his arm. Booker called Cena a rapscallion. Booker said it was time for Cena to be humbled. Sadly, he did not introduce the Iron Sheik to apply the camel clutch, break his back and then commence the humbling. Instead, he had Cena kiss his foot. Edge then told Cena that he would invoke his rematch clause next week in a cage.

Final Thoughts:

This was a pretty average show. There was more wrestling again, but the wrestling itself wasn’t very good this week. The talking was generally better, with the exception of some lame comedy. Hopefully they are getting ready to switch around to some different feuds, because the current feuds are getting stale.


Anonymous tyson said...

While WWE seems stale they are managing to eat up alot of important tv time with just HHH and HBK. They have a solid group of talent on Raw with Orton, Carlito, Benjamin, Hardy and Crazy. Masters is a joke off the mass amounts of juice and needs a new gimmick/name change. I think there is something to a Crazy and Carlito feud, the only problem is neither one is a face and the people won't know or care why Mexicans and Puerto Ricans dont get along. I think the reaction to that tag match was a little better than you stated cause the from what I saw the crowd was pretty hot for everything all night. WWE is doing an excellent job in helping TNA get to where they need to be. I'm glad they are supplying them with quality talent. Its too bad TNA has no idea what to do with them. I had alot of hope for Angle and TNA and I still do, but alot of it went out the window when I read that Angle would be an 'outside the ring enforcer' for a match where the fans are allowed to attack the wrestlers outside the ring. The storylines are mediocre in WWE but not every one has to be gripping stuff, but they need better than what theyre producing. With so many things going on for WWE right now (ECW launch, Sci Fi, PPV, SNME's, SD! Network Change, Overseas Tours, Mexico Tour) and through the end of the year I'd give them a passing grade for their own product and an A plus as far as aiding the wrestling business as a whole in this country. Helping wrestling in the United States isn't about helping yourself. WWE doesnt need to contaminate ROH either, so please stop pushing for it folks. They have a good base and could be the ECW of this generation of pro wrestling. Or this era I should say. Kurt Angle doesn't usher in the new era, its been a gradual process, he's a small piece with a large upside. Hopefully someone down there sees it.

Let's hope Shelton Benjamin turns to a life of Cryme, as any black man being held down would. Damn I tried to stay PC. But then that would gateway him into a feud with Cena...

1:24 PM  
Anonymous tyson said...

Fuck Spoilers.

9:15 PM  

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