Tuesday, September 19, 2006

"ECW" Report

Oh My God!: King Booker made his eagerly anticipated “ECW” debut, and put that peasant Rob Van Dam in his place.

You Fucked Up: Joey Styles and Tazz had to go even more over the top in putting over John Cena’s movie this week. Look, the people who are going to see John Cena’s movie couldn’t care less if Styles or Tazz endorses it. And the most fervent fans of “ECW” are likely to deeply resent them for the shilling. It’s lose-lose, like forcing John Madden to go into an over the top soliloquy on Monday Night Football about why people should watch American Idol.

He’s Hardcore: Matt Striker knocked Sandman off the apron, and that’s pretty hardcore based on the announcer reaction.

The Extreme Rundown:

King Booker arrived at the show in a limousine and was greeted by Paul Heyman. I realized this week what ECW is. It isn’t actually a new WWE “brand.” In fact, it is a Raw (and to a lesser extent, Smackdown) spin-off. It features mostly the same people. The lesser stars are the focus, and it is reliant on “guest stars” every week to pop ratings and bring attention to the show.

1. Sabu, Tommy Dreamer and Sandman beat Test, Mike Knox and Matt Striker via disqualification. If you are a big fan of cheap DQs, this has been the week for you. Striker tried to avoid Sandman early. Dreamer sent Knox over the top rope with a clothesline. On the outside, Test jumped Dreamer from behind and rammed him into the post. Meanwhile, Striker knocked Sandman off the apron and into the barricade. Sandman was helped to the back.

The heels worked over Dreamer, until Dreamer finally made the tag to Sabu. Sabu came in with drop kicks to the leg, and a springboard leg drop on Knox. Dreamer gave Knox a DDT. Sabu then hit another leg drop on Knox but Striker broke up the pin attempt. Sabu was going to the top when Test shoved the referee into the ropes to crotch Sabu. The referee called for a DQ. Test gave Sabu the big boot after the match, and gave Dreamer the RKO. Knox hit a leg drop off the top on Sabu. Sandman then came back to the ring and cleaned house. Striker left without physical contact.

Backstage, Booker was being introduced to the ECW wrestler. He met Balls Mahoney, and was disturbed by Balls’ presence. They ran an ad here for Bodog’s new fight show, now available in over 65 homes. They also ran an ad for UFC 63. It should be a good show, but words cannot express how disappointed I am Georges St. Pierre was replaced with B.J. Penn.

2. Kevin Thorn beat Balls Mahoney. I have grown to like the Thorn/Ariel package, although it is really more of a WWE gimmick than something that would fit with ECW’s identity if ECW had its own identity. Balls was accompanied to the ring by Francine, who sought to neutralize Ariel. Thorn used punches and kicks, but Balls came back with a sit down power bomb. He was tripped coming off the ropes by Ariel, and Francine went after Ariel in a catfight spot. In the ring Thorn hit the Razor’s Edge for the pin.

3. CM Punk beat Shannon Moore. Prior to the match, Booker was introduced to Punk, who suggested maybe they would compete some time. Punk got a really strong reaction coming out. Kelly Kelly came out to watch until Mike Knox led her away. I hope the story is Kelly causing Punk problems and not that they get together. Punk didn’t look good this week, as he was sloppy. Moore got more offense than last week. Punk won with the Rito Romero special, high knee, slaps, high kick, uranage and anaconda vise.

4. King Booker beat Rob Van Dam in an extreme rules match. RVD challenged Booker to the match backstage. Booker sent RVD to the outside early and worked him over by the announcer’s table. He threw RVD into the steps and dropped him on the barricade. Booker hit the Book End and did the spin-a-roonie. He went for the scissors kick but RVD hit him with a chair.

RVD hit rolling thunder on a chair and a split legged moonsault for two. Booker sent RVD into a chair with as sling shot and hit a spine buster on a chair. Booker missed the Harlem hangover and RVD hit the five star. At that point, Hardcore Holly came in with a hard chair shot and Alabama slam. Booker hit the scissors kick and covered for the pin. This was a good main event.

Please Don’t Go:

“ECW” is what it is at this point. It’s an inoffensive hour that is neither particularly good nor particularly bad. They need to give you reasons to watch the show apart from continuation of Raw and Smackdown stories and characters.


Anonymous the masterbater said...

This show is still on?

11:38 AM  
Anonymous MAZ said...

With shows like this and with the WWE bringing back the likes of Marty Jannetty, Rodney Mack, Brad Armstrong and Henry Godwinn can we all agree that the future of sports entertainment is looking pretty bleak.

12:48 PM  
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