Monday, August 21, 2006

Raw Report

Date: 08/21/06 from Bridgeport, CT.

The Big News: Vince McMahon appeared on 46 separate occasions this show, and the Kiss My Ass Club was back for the 16th time this year.

Title Changes/Turns: Melina turned twice. Mick Foley turned once.

Match Results: Eugene Dinsmore, Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Highlanders b Kenny Doane, Mikey Mondo, Nicky Nemeth and Johnny Jeter; Trish Stratus b Victoria; Jeff Hardy b Edge-DQ; Kane b Johnny Nitro-DQ; Ric Flair b Randy Orton-DQ.

Show Analysis:

Edge came out to start the show. He said that people bought tickets to the show expecting he would no longer be champion, but he emerged victorious anyway. He pointed out he didn’t have his girl or his belt, and Lita appeared on the screen with the title. Edge pointed out the title was Cena’s belt, and said he would remove the last remnants of Cena. Lita threw the belt into the water. It’s about time they got rid of the Cena title considering he is no longer champion.

Edge said there is a new era, and debuted the “new” title. Unfortunately, the new title is the same as the old title. It’s the same spinning belt that’s associated very specifically with Cena, only now it says “Rated R Superstar” on the front rather than WWE. The belt now has a split personality and looks ridiculous. They should just bring back the gold belt. Jeff Hardy came out, and said Edge talks too much. Edge remarked, “didn’t you die three years ago?” That was a good line. Edge said he ruined Matt Hardy’s career, and Jeff’s a no-talent loser just like Matt. Jeff attacked Edge, but Edge ducked out as Jeff was going for the swanton.

Highlanders, Jim Duggan and Eugene beat the Spirit Squad in an 8-man tag. Eugene used an airplane spin on Johnny and rammed him into Rory’s head. He tagged Robbie, who was worked over by a double suplex. Kenny hit a flying elbow on Robbie, and Mikey executed a moonsault. Kenny hit a swinging neck breaker, but missed a leg drop off the top on Robbie. Robbie tagged Rory, and it broke into a brawl. The Highlanders hit a springboard reverse suplex for the pin. Edge approached Coach and wanted Jeff Hardy in a non-title match. Coach granted this. Vince and Shane McMahon then arrived and told Coach to get out of his office. Vince said it isn’t over with DX. Too bad. Both acts are so stale.

Randy Orton backstage said that he beat Hulk Hogan, but was screwed by the referee when Hogan put his foot on the ropes. This is the wrong argument. He should be arguing that Hogan took the cheap way out, because it’s not exactly some new rule that getting your foot on the ropes breaks the count. He said he would take out his aggressions on Ric Flair. Carlito approached Orton, and said Hogan getting his hand raised was cool. Orton said Carlito wasn’t even on the card, and that he’s just a character and a t-shirt and should pay more respect to Orton. This was quite the delivery by Orton, and hopefully it is leading to additional character development and an accompanying push for Carlito.

HHH appeared on video. DX was in an air terminal, to pay a visit to Vince’s plane. Shawn ran around acting like a mentally handicapped child. They went to the plane and spray painted DX on it. Vince made angry faces at this. This was supposed to be funny, but it wasn’t funny at all.

Trish beat Victoria. Presumably this sets up Trish vs. Lita for the women’s title. They traded punches. Trish hit an avalanche into the corner, a drop kick, a Thesz press off the apron to the floor and rammed Victoria into the post. Back in the ring she followed up with a clothesline and victory roll, but Victoria reversed Stratusfaction into a back breaker. Victoria threw Trish around by her hair, but Trish reversed with a whirly bird and clothesline. Victoria came back with a knee, but again Trish responded with a huracanrana off the top and punches. Victoria went for the Widow’s Peak, but Trish escaped and hit the Stratusfaction for the pin. This was a good match, as one would expect from these two.

Vince and Shane came to the ring after the match. Vince was furious about the plane, and said he called the cops and they would show DX being arrested. DX, however, was no longer at the airport. Rather, they were at WWE headquarters. HHH delivered a line from Animal House (1978). They said they would leave their mark, and showed the DX spray paint job on WWE headquarters that they publicized on WWE.com a month ago. Vince acted all upset. They cut to Vince and Shane backstage yet again, and this time Mick Foley approached Vince. Vince was mad at Foley for saying nasty things about him last week. He said he wanted Foley to join the Kiss My Ass Club, and said that if Foley didn’t kiss his ass, somebody would get fired.

Jeff Hardy beat Edge via disqualification. Hardy went after Edge quickly with a baseball slide, and there were chants for him. Edge responded by throwing Hardy under the bottom rope and working him over with punches. He wrapped him around the post, but Hardy came back with a DDT. Hardy went for the twist of fate, but Edge reversed with an inverted DDT. Jim Ross explicitly predicted during this match that Jeff Hardy would die at a young age. Jeff came back and did hit the twist of fate. He followed that with the swanton, but they screwed up the finishing pin sequence. Lita pulled Edge’s leg to the rope, but the referee said Edge got his shoulder up. A DQ was called at this point, I believe for Lita pulling Edge out of the ring.
Immediately at this point, Cena attacked Edge. He brawled with Edge backstage. Edge rammed Cena into a garage door and ran away, but Cena caught up with him outside. Cena said he isn’t going anywhere. He rammed Edge into a tree and choked him with a hose. Edge responded by hitting Cena with a life preserver. Cena kept coming and threw Edge into the water. This was good stuff.

Melina thanked Mick Foley for protecting her from a crazed Ric Flair. Foley said it was no problem. He said he was thinking about whether he would join the Kiss My Ass Club. Melina said Foley is her mentor and best friend and she wouldn’t know what to do without him around. That’s carnie for “I’m about to screw you over.” She said she will support him either way.

Kane beat Johnny Nitro via disqualification. Nitro ran away trying to avoid Kane, but caught a big boot. He kept dodging, and snapped Kane’s neck over the top rope. He went for a springboard drop kick that was brushed aside. Kane went for the clothesline off the top, but Umaga ran in and attacked Kane. Umaga gave him the STO and Samoan spike. Kane sat up, so Umaga kicked him, dropped two head butts and hit the Samoan spike off the second rope. Kane bled from the mouth to sell this.

Ric Flair beat Randy Orton via disqualification. Flair looked really beat up, and Orton beat him up some more here. Orton sent Flair over the top rope with a clothesline. He drop kicked him off the apron, and hit a suplex on the floor. He beat down Flair, and threw Flair into the ring steps. Flair bled. Flair hit a couple chops but Orton came back with punches and hit the RKO for the pin. Orton kept beating up Flair after the match, so they reversed the decision. Carlito came in for the save.

Mick Foley and Melina came out for another Vince McMahon segment. Foley said he wouldn’t kiss Vince’s ass, and doesn’t need the job. He said he has saved his money and Vince can’t threaten him. Vince said that he would fire someone, but didn’t say that he would fire Foley. Instead, he would fire Melina. Foley said nobody is worth kissing Vince’s ass for, except Melina. Melina broke down and didn’t want him to. Foley said there’s something special about her and she’ll be a big star.

He added that this will be the low point of his career but it will be a small price to pay for her friendship. Foley then yelled at Vince to pull his pants down and kissed Vince’s ass. Melina gave Foley a low blow from behind. Vince then had Melina say Foley is fired. The McMahons went to leave, but as they drove off there was a chain hooked to the axel of their car, and it destroyed the car. DX had spray painted on the other side of the limo and Vince played it up going out.

Final Thoughts:I never want to see Vince McMahon perform his lame, tired act on my television ever again. It’s as stale as any pro wrestling act I can ever recall. Moreover, the Kiss My Ass Club is a pathetic testament to Vince’s own insecurities, with obvious homoerotic undertones. How can he be surprised when nobody wants to advertise on his product when he thinks his audience wants to see angles involving him pulling down his pants and getting his ass kissed by other men, or him impregnating his own daughter?

17 Comments:

Anonymous Steve Khan said...

I agree with you mostly. I was enjoying RAW to start, mostly because of the Edge and Cena stuff. But it turned into the McMahon show again.

I thought Edge was going to bring down the previous WWE Title after ridding of Cena's belt. Then they could hang both from the ceiling at Unforgiven for the TLC match.

Obviously the "new" belt is temporary, but it looks like it was made by a 5 year old.

12:05 AM  
Anonymous Dan Wahlers said...

I agree with you about the McMahon nonsense, way too much Vince on this show. You were right to say what you did in your final paragraph. But how about mentioning some of the positive things that also happened on the show?

The Edge/Cena stuff was really well done. They introduced some new feuds that started off well tonight with Orton/Carlito, and Umaga/Kane. Jeff Hardy's return went better than anyone could have expected. We had a good woman's match for once. I though Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders/Eugene/Duggan was a spirited match. Yeah, the McMahons/Dx stuff dominated the show, and took away from it. But all was not lost. There were some positive things done on this show. It would have been nice to see you mention some of that in your final paragraph, to counter balance what you wrote about Vince, which as I said you were totally right to do.

As for never wanting to see Vince perform that tired, lame act ever again. Well you better quit watching Raw then. :)

12:29 AM  
Blogger Corey said...

Yeah I'm in the same boat at Todd, the McMahon shit took away from what was a strong show otherwise, especially in ring work. Edge-Hardy was the usual strong affair; the 8-man kept a tried and true formula with some nice double teams.

I'm not a huge Kane fan, but he's probably the best one out there for Umaga now. Lita v. Trish feud will not suck because both women are talented.

There's a lot of good, but one thing so bad that it ruins it all.

5:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did anybody else find it funny that Jim Duggan started chanting "USA...USA...USA" since he was teaming with the Highlanders against four Americans????

I think Vince McMahon has officially ran out of ideas. How many different ways can you possibly spray DX on anything McMahon and do damage to limos with a McMahon inside? Don't worry it will get worse. Guess who will be gracing us with her presense now that little Levesque is born?

It's really getting difficult to justify watching "professional" wrestling these days.

Thank god for TNA.

5:21 AM  
Anonymous The Masterbater said...

Judging by how you feel about McMahon, are you going to get his DVD coming out today?? Other than that don't really watch Raw just watched the last quarter our and unfortunitly caught the car sequence and thought it was stupid as usual. WHY Haven't they given up on this DX vs. McMahon angle? Are they going to wrestle in another pay per view? Give it up.

5:59 AM  
Anonymous mean dean said...

I was pleasantly surprised by Jeff. He didn't look emaciated facially, like he has at times over the recent past, he had the old Hardy look (no crappy tank top and irritating paint), and showed good fire and looked reasonably crisp. I feel bad that it looks like he's going to get pushed harder than poor Matt, but at least he's something fresh that's grabbing my interest.

What isn't grabbing my interest is Cena v. Edge. Hopefully Unforgiven will be the blowoff, and hopefully Edge won't drop the belt to Cena. I'm just generally tired of Cena in general, and it's not exactly his fault. His promos have been strong, and he's been better than normal in the ring lately, I'm just ready to see something new on the top, and let Edge take on some new faces with the belt. Maybe do Cena v. Umaga for a couple months and let Cena and Armando have some exchanges.

Don't know where the Melina/McMahon crap is going, just hope it doesn't move her away from Nitro.

6:11 AM  
Anonymous MAZ said...

Todd, you left out that Dallas looked sharp against the Saints.

As I have already said, Edge really doesn't have any competition. It sounds like there is just as many people pulling against John Cena as there are those pulling for him. It seems to me that for Cena to retake the title, he needs to turn heel which means that they need a face to hold the title belt for this to happen.

How sad is it that Jeff Hardy returns and is immediately squared off against Edge? I'm happy to hear that Hardy has returned, but I think that his booking against Edge is a sign that the talent pool is empty.

It sounds like the Spirit Squad gets buried a little more each week.

I, for the life of me, do not understand the whole booking of Mick Foley. They turn him heel and then start this feud with Rick Flair which we all viewed as an opportunity to teach younger wrestlers some of the finer points of wrestling entertainment and the end result is a bloody match followed by kissing Vince McMahon's ass and then being fired? What lessons are learned there? I agree with everyone else, the kiss my ass thing needs to die a quick death. It does nothing to promote the sport or to add value to WWE.

As for Flair vs Orton, do we really want another match in which Flair bleeds? I understand this match was designed to build heat between Carlito and Orton but once again, we just don't need another bloody Flair match.

And in the for what its worth column, why in the world would Umaga want to fight Kane? Kane has been visibly absent over the past month or so while Umaga has beaten Cena, Michaels and HHH. So why settle for Kane when Edge has the title? Just another corner that the idiots over there at WWE have boxed themselves into.

7:32 AM  
Blogger Todd Martin said...

I had a very similar opinion to Steve as the show went on. I liked the Edge/Cena stuff and Victoria/Trish and the Carlito/Orton interaction, but then it felt like the second hour was just non-stop Vince McMahon mixed in with some DX, and it just left me really bored.

Dan, with the final thoughts, sometimes I sum up the show, and sometimes I just literally give my final thoughts. And the final thoughts were pretty much what I was thinking as I flipped over to Spike. The individual segments I liked were praised. I try to cut the fat from the report so you can just read straight through, and thus I don't feel the need to hit everything in the final paragraph.

As far as Jeff Hardy goes, he's still addicted to meth. He shouldn't be on television, and I expect him to be gone quickly. So I don't really know what to say about him. I wouldn't bury him, because I think he has talent and maybe one day he can get himself together. But I wouldn't push him either because of the message it sends and because you can't rely on him.

I found the Duggan USA chants amusing as well. I would have pointed it out, but he only did it when Eugene was in, so I figured I'd give him a break. If he'd done it when Robbie made the hot tag that would have been particularly silly.

You know, I've really been going back and forth on that McMahon DVD. I really don't want to watch a "best of" his heel shtick from the past 10 years, but I am compelled by the documentary, which sounds interesting. I think I'll see what it costs when I go to pick up Madden and decide on the spur of the moment. I'm leaning no.

9:51 AM  
Anonymous Tyson(my blog) said...

I didn't see most of the show so I can only comment on what I did see. Vince McMahon has the right to show his ass litterally and figureatively as much as he wants. He is the main patriarch of what professional wrestling is today, in this country. Jeff Hardy went to TNA and was an immediate single star, wrestling frequently for the NWA championship. And he as a star in WWE regardless of whether he was in a tag team or not before he left. Feuding frequently with Edge and a mix of other guys who have been elevated, including Rob Van Dam. Vince is just as much a character in the WWE storyline as Steve Austin or The Rock. His gimmick will always be the same, and as he gets older he will become more crotchety. I'll admit I'm a Vince mark but they are just simply getting by having HHH and HBK in a main program not based around a championship or a future performer. This DX vs. McMahons feud has legs if its handled right and HHH could get few years of legit title chases out of it. Not just chases where everyone is just wanting him to win the damn thing already. I really think they need to bury HBK. Really tear apart DX, I'm talkin Kane stompin on his throat style bury. Put him out for months giving him some much needed time off and play the angle isolating HHH vs. Vince and Shane, and maybe even Stephanie seeing as they are not married in storyline. Maybe it ends with her turn vs. Shane and Vince and helping him win the belt, who knows. But the program can work. I've been waiting for weeks for Armando and Carlito to get into it. I'd like to see him go on a losing streak and sign with Armando as Umaga has skyrocketed onto the scene. I was reading over "Sex, Lies, and Headlocks" again last night and it stated that WWE going public lead to mass amounts of analyzation by outsiders. They attributed the loss of tv viewers in the book to the change in America's mindset as a whole. With color coded terror alert system and the constant fear of another attack at any point, any time, America may not find this brand of "entertainment" as entertaining as they use to. It's one thing to watch a product, report on it, and give constructive criticism and try to provide ideas for a company to work with. It's another to provide an overly snide and sarcastic report with general analysis of what it takes to produce great ''wrestling'' on tv. I just read an article over on ESPN.com about Bobby Bowden. I took this from the article cause I thought it was more revelant to say now more than ever...
"Remember, you're either with him or against him. He doesn't have time for shrillness, for negativity without legitimate alternatives. "
So when it comes down to it, you're either for WWE or against it. You might not like every decision but what are your ideas for an alternative? If you constantly have good ones they should not, can not, and will not be ignored. If someone tells me WWE needs to create new stars again I'm gonna puke. In WWE, you're either a star when you walk in the door, or your not. Guys like Orton, Carlito, Benjamin they've always had the talent it's just up to the individual performer to make it work. Did Nick Dinsmore dream about being Eugene while coming up through the WWE system? Probably not. But he was given the ball and he ran with it. Botom line. Give credit where credit is due. And maybe a little more positive insight then "this was good stuff" or "this match was good" stuck in between comments that begin with "the problem with WWE is.."

9:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As far as Jeff Hardy goes, he's still addicted to meth.

Yeah and Rob Van Dam is still addicted to marijuana and 100% of the roster is addicted to steroids. Even you CM Punk. Sorry you aint straight edge. Your backne gives you away.

I love being negative. Its fun.

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Steve Khan said...

Carlito eventually spitting apple in Orton's face would get him over huge.

Also, does anybody realize that (babyface) DX's antics directly lead to (new babyface) Mick Foley getting fired? Maybe they should've thought that one through a little better.

10:11 AM  
Blogger Todd Martin said...

Steroid usage is a serious problem in WWE, and ought to be addressed for the health of the wrestlers. But it doesn't do any real harm to their performance (other than making them more vulnerable to injuries), and doesn't make them unreliable as far as showing up for dates not in a condition to perform. And marijuana is less harmful than steroids. WWE definitely needs to be cleaning up the roster more. But to suggest hiring a crystal meth addict is no big deal because you've got some guys who smoke pot and take steroids is to me rather silly.

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

enJeff Hardy looks in much better condition than he has in a long time. No one is dismissing it as not a big deal. But to make it an issue before it even is one? What does that make you?

How many WWE dates has jeff missed in 2006? And since when in professional wrestling did "condition to perform" stop the show from going forward or the performer from performing? How many lines did Von Erich blow before going out as truly a Texas Tornado? Weed is a great thing. Do I want someone I'm working with to be on it while they're throwing me around the ring and attempting to kick me in my face? And they say Van Dam works best when he works stiff...actually I think your boy Dave said that one.

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Charlie Kane said...

Todd, I'm in agreement with you on all levels. I have been immensely bored with the product for more months than I can count, and have subsequently stopped even watching it. Last night I did, as I was just flipping channels after a long day of work, and while I did think that the Cena/Edge stuff was effective--this must be the last gasp on this feud, because it will have gone on for nearly a year by the time it's done, and no matter who holds the belt by the end of December, for the life of me I cannot fathom who they would fight, either face or heel. The DX and McMahon program is a stale as the bottom of last week's keg, and really nothing is going to be gained from it one way or the other, as Hunter and HBK are already established stars, and it seems unlikely that Vince would be of the mind to put the belt on himself again. Really, where is this meant to go? Merchandising is one thing, but is Hunter going to go back heel to fight Cena? Is he staying a face to fight Edge? That would seem the logical progression, but certainly nothing is being done to indicate it. Jeff Hardy has a track record of being a distraction which goes back for at least this entire decade; I'm not one for scarlet letters, but I do question the logic of throwing him at Edge right away, although I can't imagine who'd he fight with otherwise. Orton's busy now with Carlito--a smart move--and Shelton has vanished off the face of the earth. Maybe ECW? Dunno. Anyway, I am with you as far as some sort of logical booking, and right now I just don't see it. Is Cena going to be any more over with this feud? Doubtful..I actually don't mind Cena, because I think he's a good character with a quick wit on the mic (when allowed), and Edge to me is the best heel in the biz right now, but once this winds down I just don't know what they can do with those guys. Edge vs. Hunter, I suppose, one way or the other (and with Lita leaving, what will the storyline be to explain that? It better be important, and it better make sense booking-wise). I also groaned when I saw Edge's 'new' belt...man, they just can't stop doing dumb stuff.
Anyway, I imagine that I will not be rushing back to Raw next Monday, as I've enjoyed reading your reviews much more than actually watching the product. As for this Tyson guy....is this some sort of Devil's advocate character you've created, or is he just one huge WWE mark? All of Todd's criticisms are valid, sport, and for the life of me I cannot see what it is you see in what Vince and Co. are coughing up. Lazy is as lazy does, and I don't see much in the way of an upgrade for this company in the near future. If by his anguished responses to your comments 'Tyson' is hoping to get a job with the company or some
sort of thing, well....A for effort, pal.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Houston Mitchell said...

Yeah Todd, how dare you write what you think. How dare you make me laugh, even if I don't always agree with your analysis. You act like this is one man's report of a TV show, when it's supposed to be...... oh, wait, that is what it's supposed to be.

I will give Tyson credit for putting a name on his repsonse, unlike Mr. Anonymous.

6:24 PM  
Blogger Todd Martin said...

It's not just Tyson. I've noticed an increase in the number of people e-mailing me to defend WWE in recent weeks. It's more for the ECW show, but also some for Raw. I think there is a group of people that really want to like ECW and Raw for that matter, and thus make excuses and try to make the shows out to be better than they are. I'm sympathetic. I want WWE to improve as well. I can't wait for a time when I can say "that was a great show" for a number of weeks in a row. But I really don't think we have reached that point, unfortunately.

7:10 PM  
Anonymous tyson smith said...

For future reference, I am a different Tyson than the one that's posted already. So from now on, I'll add my middle name at the end of my first name (Tyson Smith).

7:58 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home