Tuesday, August 15, 2006

"ECW" Report

Oh My God!: Sabu and Rob Van Dam had one car crash of a main event ladder match.

You Fucked Up: Sabu, my friend, I’m not sure it’s physically possible to leap on a ladder turned on its side in a wrestling ring and use that as a springboard. That was not a good idea.

He’s Hardcore: You have to give Sabu and RVD props for their effort even if it didn’t produce a good match.

The Extreme Rundown:

Paul Heyman and Big Show started the show. Heyman announced that Kurt Angle suffered an injury, and needs to be protected from himself. Thus he was medically suspended and removed from the ladder match main event. That’s a smart move to me, as Angle shouldn’t have been involved with that in the first place. Oddly, the joint Smackdown/ECW audience is actually starting to work, with the ECW fans getting the Smackdown audience into the ECW characters.

A scowling Mick Foley came out, and said Ric Flair wouldn’t be there because he is recovering for his match Sunday. Foley contested Flair’s description of Undertaker vs. Mankind Hell in a Cell. He recounted the horrors, and said he kept getting up out of pride in himself. He said Flair can’t win the war on Sunday, because the words “I quit” aren’t in his vocabulary. They could always play the clip from Royal Rumble 1999. He said he promised something extreme, and brought out Kelly Kelly and Melina. They had a three way dance literally, as they danced together. Flair then ran in and attacked Foley. He gave Foley two low blows, threw him into the steps, and choked him until he bled from the mouth. Flair showed great intensity here.

1. CM Punk beat Justin Credible. Punk got a surprisingly good reaction, and the people who were into him were really into him. They had Credible pre-recorded comments in the corner of the screen, which was a nice old school touch. He said his loss to Punk two weeks ago was a fluke. Punk hit some low kicks, a high knee, a high kick, and a uranage into the anaconda vice for the tap out. Punk looked good again.

Rob Van Dam on a ladder said that in his last ladder match he won Money in the Bank and eventually the ECW Title. Now he wants it back. He said this wouldn’t be easy, but he would beat Sabu and Big Show to win the title. There was no explanation as to why he attacked Angle and Sabu last week but left Big Show alone. I guess he just didn’t want to see a number one contender crowned other than him. Rene Dupree backstage was doing a photo shoot. He said he is the most beautiful man in sports entertainment and also the most hardcore wrestler in ECW.

2. Test and Mike Knox beat the FBI. Knox and Test used back breakers on Little Guido. He tagged Tony Mamaluke, but Test gave him a press slam and Guido a big boot. He finished off Mamaluke with the TKO. This was a total squash, as the inexplicable push of Test and Knox continues. The irony is Kelly Kelly may have even less talent than either of them. Tommy Dreamer and Sandman ran in after the match.

Sabu said he will do anything to win the ladder match and beat Big Show for the ECW Title. Elsewhere, an infuriated Kurt Angle jumped security and attacked Big Show. Joey Styles in the midst of this scoffed at the idea Angle would be suspended for medical concerns. Angle was pulled off by police officers, and it seems the story is that Angle was swindled out of his title opportunity by Heyman. Why he now prefers the prospect of Sabu getting the title shot I’m not sure.

3. Sabu beat Rob Van Dam in a ladder match to win a title shot. This was a total clusterfuck. It was like a comeuppance for all the luck Sabu has had pulling off wild moves during his WWE tenure. It was vintage bad ECW, with two guys working their asses off but blowing spots left and right. It also had some of the most blatant spot calling you’re ever going to see. I feel bad for these guys, because they worked hard, but they are likely to be buried for this one. But mostly, I thank God they decided not to involve Angle in this.

Sabu threw a chair at RVD immediately, but missed. RVD botched a springboard kick, at which point Tazz observed the two wrestlers have similar styles, which was funny. Sabu went for something but crotched himself on the top rope accidentally instead. RVD then dove off the top rope towards the contract, which was really silly. Sabu sent him over the top rope with a clothesline and hit a springboard DDT. RVD kicked a ladder into Sabu and hit a pescado onto Sabu and the ladder.

RVD hit a leg drop on the barrier onto Sabu. Sabu botched an Arabian facebuster on a ladder onto RVD. Sabu applied the camel clutch on a ladder on RVD. Sabu climbed the ladder but RVD pushed it over. Sabu went for a springboard on a ladder but again tripped on it in embarrassing fashion. Sabu was thrown into the ladder and RVD monkey flipped the ladder into Sabu. That was a cool spot. RVD then missed rolling thunder and landed right on the ladder.

Sabu hit the triple jump moonsault, but missed the atomic Arabian facebuster, landing on a ladder. Styles said that’s why Sabu is labeled the modern day Kamikaze. Vince had to have fed him that line because that was Jinsei Shinzaki’s moniker when he was Hakushi in the WWF. RVD hit the five star and was going for the contract when Big Show came out. RVD dove onto Show, but Show caught him and threw him over the top rope through a table on the floor. Show called for the contract to be lowered, but Sabu then dove off the top onto Show. Show caught him, but Sabu used the leverage to get the contract. I didn’t think much of this finish as a concept. Show gave Sabu and RVD choke slams after the match.

Please Don’t Go:

I actually really liked the booking of this show. I don’t really have any complaints aside from the continued push of Test and Knox. The main event was a situation where everything that could go wrong did, but that will happen sometimes.

6 Comments:

Anonymous tyson said...

Im burnt out after you're breakdown of WWE got me goin early on this mornin. Last nights show was bad and you know what I don't feel bad for RVD or Sabu cause if the marijuana stuff was legit, they deserved it. The finish was very strange yet original but not in an entertaining way. I don't know why you keep getting on Test. You talk about Flair's intensity? Thats a little markish no? Test has been better every week in ECW and his in-ring and crowd interaction have been getting better whether you want to admit it or not. 6 Months from now he could be main eventing Smackdown. No. For real.

8:13 AM  
Anonymous tyson said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tyson didnt say that, thanks. and to avoid such juvenile tactics I will remain anonymous.

1:46 PM  
Anonymous Dan S. said...

I agree... Test has looked good and intense as all hell out there. He's def much improved since the last time I saw him on television. To be honest, the guiy deserves his pus so far based on his performances so far. Mike Knox is a diff story..

1:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe it's because I'm an old-school ECW fan, but I really enjoyed the main event. It was the anthisis of a carefully scripted-to-the nth degree WWE main event finish.

I think the blown-triple jump off the ladder was the most creative spot of the year.

It's just a shame that the ECW World Title match at Summerslam is going to pale in comparison to the Foley-Flair bloodletting.

Denis Gorman

6:08 PM  
Anonymous Steve Khan said...

I'm surprised you didnt mention how bad (and generic) RVD's promo was. "I'm up against the odds against my great opponent but I hope I win."

11:27 AM  

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