WWECW Week Three

Oh My God!: Unstoppable Wrestling Machine Kurt Angle was pinned for the second time in three days just a few weeks after being given the gimmick.

You Fucked Up: Kelly did a lame strip tease for the third straight week.

He’s Hardcore: Atsushi Onita.

The Extreme Rundown:

1. Sabu beat Roadkill to start the show. Sabu hit a springboard off the ropes into a DDT and went for a triple jump moonsault. Roadkill blocked that by tripping Sabu and dropping him on a chair. Roadkill hit an avalanche into the corner and went for a table on the outside, but Sabu dove off a chair with a sloppy somersault plancha to the floor. That drew ECW chants. Roadkill hit the black hole slam and hit Sabu with a chair. He went to the second rope, but Sabu threw a chair at him and hit a huracanrana off the ropes. Sabu threw a chair at Roadkill, hit him with a chair, and followed that with an atomic Arabian face buster through a table. He applied the camel clutch.

Roadkill didn’t tap, so Sabu hit him with a chair twice and put the chair on Roadkill’s back when he applied it a second time. Roadkill tapped this time. This was a good opener, but dangerous as hell. Sabu cut himself up badly on his back, and this is not a style that you can do consistently without major injuries developing. The crowd as predicted is getting into Sabu. If Sabu were doing the same stuff on WWF television in 1996 rather than 2006, he would quickly have become a main event player.

Tommy Dreamer came to the ring and said that he has more respect for Big Show after the beating he took last week. He asked for another, playing off the angle with Sandman that finally got him over as a face in ECW. Show came out and obliged, beating Dreamer up like a total jobber. Show is going to have a fun time at all the ECW house shows. Mike Knox was backstage with Kelly. He is the overprotective boyfriend who likes to watch her but doesn’t like everyone else to see.

Kurt Angle cut a promo backstage. He said that he considers every day since April 2 a failure, because that was the last time he had a belt. When he goes home to his family he puts on a fake smile, because he hates himself when he isn’t the champion. He said he will do horrible things to RVD even though he has nothing against the man, because he has to get his hands on a title. This was a great, intense promo from Angle.

2. Mike Knox beat Danny Boring. Knox hit a spine buster early. Kelly started teasing a plant in the crowd, so Knox shoved the plant to the ground. Knox hit a running high kick and a corkscrew downward spiral for the pin. They followed this with another extended dance sequence from Kelly. Never has an attractive woman been so boring. I think even Dana White and I would rather watch golf than this crap. They did the exact same routine, complete with Knox coming out and stopping her again.

A fat stripper came out. There is clearly a disconnect within the company about what the Sandman segments are supposed to accomplish. Unquestionably they are designed in the first place to represent a mockery of WWE’s sports entertainment garbage. However, some people backstage don’t seem to get this, as Tazz and Joey Styles were doing the ridiculous fake laugh routine that the announcers have to do when the promotion is presenting dumb comedy that isn’t funny.

If the stuff is actually funny, then Sandman is a heel for interrupting it. But he’s supposed to be the face, so the announcers should be talking about how stupid and unwelcome these idiots are, rather than laughing with them. Anyway, Sandman also laughed at the guy, who stripped down and started dancing in his g-string. Yes, the male ass trend also crosses over into ECW, along with all the wrestlers that score wins on “ECW” television. The stripper went for Sandman’s beer, at which point Sandman gave him a low blow with the cane, hit him repeatedly with it, and ran him off.

Rob Van Dam was backstage with Paul Heyman. Heyman was concerned again, while RVD was cool again. Edge and Lita came out before the main event. They chased plants out of their seats and sat down in the front row. They even gave Edge a microphone. He said he was there to watch Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam, and he will beat the winner because he is the whole f’n show.

3. Rob Van Dam beat Kurt Angle. Angle got the best of RVD early with mat wrestling and European uppercuts. RVD hit a monkey flip and spinning heel kick. RVD went to the top but was pushed to the floor. Angle hit an overhead belly to belly and release German in the ring. They kept cutting to Edge in the crowd during this. This broke into a brawl, and RVD’s kick off the top attempt was countered into an ankle lock. RVD escaped and hit some kicks, but missed rolling thunder.

Angle again went for the ankle lock, but RVD got out. RVD hit the split legged moonsault and went to the top, but Angle threw him off the top for a near fall. Angle went for the Angle slam, but RVD reversed it into a DDT. He then hit the five star for a clear pin. While I wouldn’t have Angle lose like this again, it was a smart move to give RVD a big win. This was a good match, particularly towards the end. Edge applauded the win and acted like he was leaving, but then when RVD turned around he came into the ring and hit the spear.

Please Don’t Go:
This show was basically a remake of last week’s show. You didn’t miss anything if you didn’t catch this show, but it was a very tolerable hour of television. The biggest positive about ECW and what is refreshing about the product is that they are actually pushing people, which seems to be a dying concept in today’s WWE. There are many negatives, but to me the biggest may be that it has become a supplement to Raw rather than a show of its own. There is no need for a fifth hour of weekly WWE programming. Fans are already tuning out the third and fourth hours in droves. If they want to keep around ECW long term, the focus of the show needs to be different than the focus of Raw.