Monday, October 10, 2011

WWE Raw Report

Date: 10/10/11 from Oklahoma City, OK.

The Big News: The John Laurinaitis Era has begun.

Show Analysis:

They cut backstage to start the show and nobody was around. HHH walked out of his office and came to the ring. He said he was bewildered to see everyone walk out. He added that the people who walked out walked out not only on HHH but on the people. HHH made fun of the boycotters who wouldn’t perform unless HHH stepped down. HHH asked the fans whether he should give in, and everyone said no. HHH said he won’t be blackmailed or coerced to quit. He said that he would wrestle a broomstick for the next two hours and it would probably give him a better match than most of the guys in the parking lot. Ha! Get it? Because everybody on the roster sucks!

John Cena showed up and said that everyone wanted to know where he stood. Cena noted that the people in the parking lot were all lobbying him while HHH hadn’t been in touch. Cena said HHH is his boss and that he would stay. Cena said his loyalty lies with the people and shook hands with HHH.

Sheamus was next out. He said that he once tried to take out HHH to make a name for himself. HHH could have filed a lawsuit but instead he came back and gave Sheamus the biggest ass whipping of his life. I like how everyone is scripted to put over how badly HHH kicks their asses. Sheamus said he wouldn’t join those losers sitting out there in the parking lot.

CM Punk then came out. He said that he started the whole thing, but that he never broke his word because his contract was expiring. Punk added that he was making a point to the whole company and not one man. He said that WWE is about settling conflict in the ring, and that he dealt with HHH and Cena personally. Punk concluded that he was the last guy they would expect to have in the foxhole with them, but there he was. He asked what they would do now.

HHH made Sheamus vs. Cena with HHH as referee and Punk doing commentary and ringing the bell. HHH and Punk bantered comically and HHH gave him his jacket to wear. Cena, Sheamus and Punk came off as such pandering, corporate suck-ups here. Not that I’m saying that’s a bad thing. I’ve always had affection for pandering, corporate babyfaces.

Sheamus and John Cena fought to a no contest. CM Punk did drop in an amusing Rob Naylor reference before Vince McMahon came out to interrupt the match with a video labeling him WWE chairman. Vince said he wanted to have a word with HHH, and so Sheamus and Cena just walked off and left. Vince said he likes what HHH is doing but the board of directors is concerned things will get out of control and shows will have to be cancelled. Thus, the board of directors told HHH that his services are no longer needed. They are looking for a new full time GM but for now John Laurinaitis is interim GM.

After the break, the roster was shown coming back into the building, shaking hands with Laurinaitis. So, all the faces walked out on the show and the fans in order to install John Laurinaitis as general manager. Good for them. They probably got a better deal than what the NBPA will end up with, and are only slightly less sympathetic than Latrell Sprewell in his final negotiations with the Wolves back in ‘04. John Morrison told Laurinaitis he sucks so Laurinaitis ordered him to the ring for a match. Christian suggested Laurinaitis should be permanent GM and Laurinaitis told him he would be wrestling Morrison. Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole returned.

Christian beat John Morrison. Both wrestled in their street clothes. Morrison was quickly distracted by Swagger and Ziggler and Christian hit a spear for the win. After the match, those three and Cody Rhodes attacked and beat up Morrison some more.

Backstage, John Laurinaitis told HHH that he didn’t want the job, but that he was appointed. Laurinaitis said he is willing to make sacrifices for the company because he loves WWE. HHH asked him if he ever tried to pick up his teeth with a bunch of broken fingers.

Randy Orton beat Mark Henry via DQ. Henry before the match said it took him 15 years to win the title and he’s the most dominant champion of all time. Henry said he will take on anybody provided they are the number one contender and Big Show wasn’t. Henry said that at Vengeance, vengeance will be his. Orton then interrupted and said that vengeance would be Orton’s.

Henry was in control early. Orton came back with a draping DDT and was setting up for the RKO when Rhodes came out. Orton knocked him out of the ring. Henry tried to use the distraction to hit the world’s strongest slam but Orton escaped and hit the RKO. Orton had Henry pinned but Rhodes then interfered for the DQ. This was a great way of setting up Henry vs. Orton for the title at Vengeance. Wait, what? Henry’s wrestling Big Show for the title at Vengeance? Oh.

After the match, Henry gave Orton two world’s strongest slams. Rhodes then gave Orton a roll of the dice and put a bag over Orton’s head. You know, I wasn’t sold on the idea of putting a bag over someone’s head as a main event angle, but after seeing it in practice, I think it’s got real money drawing potential. Rhodes then asked Orton if he would like a receipt with his paper bag and laughed maniacally. Money.

Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres beat Rosa Mendes and Tamina. Kelly did some spots with Rosa and Tamina. Then Eve came in and pinned Tamina with a kick to the face and a moonsault. This would have been a great match if only every spot didn’t look terrible.

John Laurinaitis came to the ring and announced John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio for the title at Vengeance. I think the crowd microphones weren’t working, because the crowd didn’t seem to react at all for that one. They probably broke down some time around halfway through the show, because it was almost like they were dead for absolutely everything in the second hour.

Laurinaitis then brought Jim Ross into the ring. He pointed out that Ross walked out on HHH after HHH gave him his job, not to mention walked out on the fans and walked out on his hometown crowd in Oklahoma. Geez, Ross really is a jerk and a fool. Laurinaitis concluded that makes Ross an ingrate and fired Ross. Serves him right. Ross just no sold this completely and walked to the back as if the show were over and nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Michael Cole celebrated by going crazy. The good times are back again on commentary.

Mason Ryan, Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne beat Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger and David Otunga. The heels worked over Kingston. Ryan tagged in and hit clotheslines and a big boot on Ziggler. Otunga broke up the pin. A brawl broke out and Ryan hit the twisting uranage for the pin. So Ryan is apparently the new contender for Ziggler’s title. That sounds like a good idea.

Alberto Del Rio and CM Punk fought to a no contest. In the middle of their match, Laurinaitis came out and announced Punk and Del Rio would be wrestling in a tag match against the reinstated Miz and R. Truth.

CM Punk and Alberto Del Rio beat Miz and R. Truth via DQ. Punk and Del Rio worked as a team for a bit until Del Rio sold his leg and walked off. The heels double teamed Punk. Punk hit a high knee, bulldog and top rope elbow on Miz. He went for the GTS but Truth broke it up and then Truth and Miz just attacked Punk for a big until they were disqualified. They sure fooled me. I figured after all that they’d just have someone win. It was a fitting end to a night of great finishes.

HHH hit the ring after the match and beat up Truth and Miz. HHH and Punk cleared the ring together. Backstage, Laurinaitis told David Otunga that he would have the board make Miz and Truth vs. HHH and Punk at Vengeance. About time HHH and Punk became buddies. It was such a natural partnership.

Final Thoughts:

What a great show. I may have more faith in Vince Russo right now than the WWE writing team, but it’s close, so good for them.


Anonymous Meadowlark Lemon said...

Fire Russo! (clap-clap-clap)
What a horrible, horrible show. These people have truly lost their way in a very real sense. Nothing they do is any good. Nothing. I would like to point out that a week or two ago I predicted that HHH and Punk would be teaming up to counter evil, so I would like you to send me five dollars in a deflated football. Postage due.
Who is the champ? Why did they put the belt back on Del Rio? Just because they are going to Mexico? Are all booking decisions decided by their travel agent? Why do they have a champ? Nobody seems to care anyway. Just have Cena jump around and do chimp noises, and people will react accordingly. It's really funny to think that just a few months ago, people were really drawn to the Punk character and what may come of him in the future. I hope all of those ice cream bars were worth it, because he is really coming off like a stooge. How could they have killed him this badly? He didn't even have to fight Nash...yet.
I will say the funniest line of the night was when McMahon ( who just kind of showed up out of nowhere )was talking about the Occupy Wall Street protesters and saying that he respected their decision to protest. For a right wing cunt like him, that must have taken every bit of acting talent he's ever mustered to say with a straight face.
TNA is a better show. That's just a fact now. TNA is 88 percent garbage, and it's a better show. I don't even know where WWE turns now, because they've made such a mess of everything. Nobody cares about their shit, and it seems that they imagine the cure for what ails is more HHH. They may as well just try to get Hogan back. I wonder if the Rock thinks that the paycheck he'll get for his return is going to be worth it. I think his character will suffer damage he never counted on, just by the guilt by association.

10:05 PM  
Blogger s1rweeze said...

Todd's finally cracking. It only took you 5-6 years.

6:39 AM  
Anonymous The Executive Vice President of Talent Relations said...

I was infinitely more entertained by this review than the show. I love me some scathing humour.

One question though - how serious were you in saying "I wasn’t sold on the idea of putting a bag over someone’s head as a main event angle, but after seeing it in practice, I think it’s got real money drawing potential."? I sense some more criticism but I can't tell on this one...

9:13 AM  
Blogger hobbyfan said...

I can tell Todd was being sarcastic more than anything. Man, I hated this from the second Chairman Wackjob arrived on the scene. His writers are idiots to ignore the obvious.

1. John Lauranitis showing up at Money in the Bank as Vince's stooge said to me that Vince knew what was nigh (the Board stripping him of command), so he let it happen, knowing he could manipulate things from afar and set up his own son-in-law to take a fall. What he did to Stephanie 8 years ago on Smackdown is chump change compared to this atrocity.

2. We all know Vince has an issue with JR, and so the first thing Space Ace does is "fire JR". Well, Hunter's still the COO, meaning that he can rehire Ross ASAP and countermand Lauranitis' orders. Since Ace didn't have a real reason for the firing, a lawsuit for unlawful termination would be the other recourse. Michael Cole's act is stale and I felt like either hitting the mute button or flipping on the football game. The Cardinals were blowing out Milwaukee, so that wasn't worth the time anymore.

Vince will never get it until it's too late. And it's his fault!

10:38 AM  
Blogger Todd Martin said...

I thought the bag thing was ridiculous.

10:41 AM  
Anonymous Bob said...

So the whole thing ends up being a morality play about the evils of striking.

The bulk of the workers go on strike (although the WWE chickened out in calling it that, instead going with goofy terms like "solidarity march"). It is made clear all the strikers workers really don't contribute much (most of them could not perform as well as a broom in a match with Triple H).

Meanwhile, the workers with talent give speeches about how good workers do what their boss tells them do, no matter who the boss is, and no matter what the boss is telling them to do. This is what the WWE Universe wants. To do otherwise is to be a traitor.

The evil striking workers end up getting their way. They all file into the building like a flock of undifferentiated sheep.

I'm surprised the sports entertainers of ability didn't all flee to Galt's Gulch at the end. Maybe that's the plot for next week?

What a stupid, atrocious show.

3:49 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home