Tuesday, September 14, 2010

WWE Raw Report

Date: 09/13/10 from Cincinnati, OH.

The Big News: Chris Jericho is back in the six pack challenge for the WWE title at Night of Champions.

Show Analysis:

“Raw Roulette” began with John Cena spinning the wheel to determine what his match with Randy Orton would be. It ended up on a tables match. Josh Matthews pointed out Cena lost the title in a tables match but Cena wasn’t worried and said he was feeling lucky.

Guest host Chad Ochocinco came out but was interrupted by the Miz. At first Miz said he could relate to Ochocinco because both men say what they want when they want. But then he said in fact they’re nothing alike because Miz is a champion and Ochocinco will never win a championship playing for the Bungles. Ochocinco responded by pointing out the Bengals won the AFC North last year and sad they will win the Super Bowl this year.

Miz mocked Ochocinco by bringing up how he and Terrell Owens left their game before halftime yesterday. He then took a shot at Ochocinco dropping passes and Bengals QB Carson Palmer having no mobility. Miz called them overrated. The anonymous GM then popped up and had the wheel spun to determine Miz’s match. It came up on a submission match. The GM let Ochocinco pick Miz’s opponent and Ochocinco selected Daniel Bryan. I enjoyed this segment.

Daniel Bryan beat Miz via forfeit in a submission match. Bryan hit some kicks. Miz used a chop block and applied the figure four. Bryan reversed this and went for the LeBell lock but Miz went to the outside. There, Miz claimed a hernia and said he was pulling out of the match. He announced Alex Riley as a replacement.

So now you can just unilaterally pull out of a match and name your replacement? And how exactly does it build interest in a PPV match when you teach fans on TV that one of the participants doesn’t care about winning or losing? In short, this was one of those shit finishes that make matches feel pointless. Daniel Bryan then submitted Riley immediately with the LeBell lock. Miz attacked Bryan after the match. Bryan eventually countered and put Miz in the LeBell lock. Miz tapped.

Edge beat Evan Bourne in a body slam challenge. Great stipulation there. Edge went for a body slam but Bourne got out. Bourne went for a slam but Edge escaped with the Edgecution. Edge then hit the body slam for the win. He gave Bourne a spear after the match. The anonymous GM was angry about the spear and ordered another body slam challenge.

Mark Henry beat Edge in a body slam challenge. Henry missed a corner avalanche. Edge went for a slam but Henry landed on him. Henry then hit the world’s strongest slam for the victory.

R. Truth and Eve Torres beat Ted DiBiase and Maryse in a song and dance match. That sounds dreadful but I was actually amused by this for some reason. The idea was one member of the team had to sing and the other had to dance and the fans would pick the winner.

This was basically a backdrop for Truth to finally debut a new song. I’m pleased about that one. DiBiase went with “My Way” while Maryse did an absurd dance. Jerry Lawler of course got in a Pat Patterson reference. The teams fought afterwards with Truth and Torres getting the best of it. Truth did his new song again after the fight so apparently that’s his song going forward.

Backstage, William Regal spun the wheel and it landed on a trading places match. This meant he would have to dress up like his opponent, Goldust. Chad Ochocinco then told Sheamus that the GM said if John Morrison beat Sheamus, Morrison would get Jericho’s spot in the six pack match. Sheamus spun the wheel and ended up with a falls count anywhere match against John Morrison.

Zack Ryder and Edge met elsewhere backstage. Edge said that if he wins the title he is going to stage a holdout. Sheamus then came in and said if he were Edge he wouldn’t hold his breath on winning the title. “Burn!” yelled Ryder excitedly. Edge and Sheamus stared at him and he left. They then cut to John Morrison doing acrobatic warm-ups backstage. It looked cool. Funny, someone was telling me they needed to start airing these warm-ups just the other week.

Sheamus beat John Morrison in a falls count anywhere match. Morrison hit a running knee and sent Sheamus into the crowd with a backdrop. He then hit a springboard dive onto Sheamus in the crowd. Sheamus hit a back breaker on the floor which looked idiotic because it would have hurt so much more if he just dropped him on the concrete rather than on his knee. Sheamus went for a bicycle kick but kicked a speaker instead.

Sheamus dropped Morrison on the stage and went to throw Morrison off the stage but Morrison landed on his feet. Morrison hit a springboard kick off the stage and a crossbody off the top of the video wall for two. Jericho then ran in and hit Morrison with a chair. Sheamus covered for the pin. This was a very good match and they really tried to get Morrison over here.

Chris Jericho in the ring said he wouldn’t leave until the anonymous GM put him back in the six pack challenge. The GM said he or she doesn’t like ultimatums. “No chance in hell,” he or she added. Jericho laughed at the idea the GM would be Vince McMahon. The GM then announced the six pack challenge would be an elimination match and Jericho could get back in if he won a handicap cage match against the Hart Dynasty. This anonymous GM gimmick gets more irritating by the week. Having wrestlers repeatedly get in arguments with a fucking computer is just stupid.

Chris Jericho beat the Hart Dynasty in a handicap cage match. This was booked to not bury Hart Dynasty that badly but as a general rule I wouldn’t have face tag team champions lose handicap cage matches to heels. David Hart Smith hit a power slam and the Dynasty followed with the Hart attack. They then went to climb out on opposite sides of the cage like idiots.

Of course, Jericho caught Tyson Kidd while Smith climbed out so those fools turned it into a singles match. Jericho went for the Walls but Kidd escaped. Kidd applied the sharpshooter but Jericho fought out. Kidd went for a huracanrana off the ropes but Jericho did a cool counter dropping down into the Walls and Kidd tapped. I really liked the finish.

Goldust beat William Regal. This was of course an excuse for Regal to act indignant about having to dress up like Goldust. That usually works really well for comedy but it didn’t click here. I think that’s partly because the paint covered up his facials and partly because the announcers were doing the overzealous fake laughter while the crowd wasn’t reacting at all. Goldust put on brass knuckles and used the old power of the punch for the win immediately.

Randy Orton beat John Cena in a tables match. Chad Ochocinco was ring announcer for the match. I thought this was a dull, terribly slow, paint by the numbers match prior to the insane amount of interference. Cena went for the FU but Orton escaped and hit a DDT. For some reason Jerry Lawler flipped out and started yelling that Orton hit the RKO. Cena used the shoulder blocks, Cena slam and five knuckle. He went for the FU but Orton got out and hit clotheslines and a powerslam. Cena gained control, however, with the STF.

Nexus then ran in. They fought for a while but Orton ended up getting rid of all of them and sending Wade Barrett through a table. This did Barrett no favors. Edge and Chris Jericho then ran in but Orton sent them into a table together. Sheamus was next out but Cena gave him an FU on the floor. In the ring Cena went for the FU on Orton through the table but Orton reversed the FU into the RKO through the table for the win.

Final Thoughts:

I thought this was an average edition of Raw. The comedy again I thought hit better than usual and the quality of wrestling was pretty good. The booking on the other hand wasn’t very good. In particular, I remember the original spin the wheel, make the deal gimmick that is the predecessor of the Raw Roulette. The idea then was you’d get some violent stipulation that would settle a serious feud. Now, it’s an excuse to throw out a bunch of comedy gimmicks and stipulations that allow them to bypass real finishes even more so than usual. I guess that just mirrors WWE’s direction shift in general, but I don’t think it’s a positive change.


Anonymous mean dean said...

I thought the finish to the cage match was even more impressive because Kidd came so close to hitting the mat, Jericho basically had to brace him self JUST little enough to keep him from faceplanting and he did it perfectly. That was one of the more impressive spots I've seen in awhile.

Something that I hate about Raw Roulette is that it never feels like there's any actual random chance to it. I think it would work much better if they only put worthwhile stipulations on the wheel and had the workers prepared to work any of maybe four or five different match types, then just letting an actual wheel spin make the decision. Of course, you couldn't do that for a show like tonight's which had very specific booking for the main event. Oh well.

12:35 AM  
Anonymous Patrick said...

I thought it was strange that Cena put the STF on Orton during a tables match. He can't win by submission so what's the point?

12:40 AM  
Blogger hobbyfan said...

1. Miz should not be the US champ. He breached the contract, so something needs to be done with this jobophobic punk.

2. The three best matches were all in the 2nd half, and the best one was Morrison vs. Sheamus. Try telling me it was anything different.

3. Chris Jericho whined and pouted until he got his way, and the GM decides to be Vince for a night. Please. Spare me.

4. Uncreative picked the wrong guy to face Edge the first time (Evan Bourne). Wade Barrett didn't do anything until the Nexus run-in in the main event, so why not put him in a match? Because the writers are stupid.

5. The Edgecution was the original name of Edge's Impaler DDT. What he used on Bourne was the Edge-O-Matic.

6. How much longer can they draw out the GM mystery? Not much longer, methinks.

7. Michael Cole used to be a news reader for a Top 40 station in my market. He should know better than to prejudge someone's new song, such as R-Truth's. Guy's writing his own material, but Cole's heel antics jumped the shark long ago.

5:26 AM  
Anonymous the masterbater said...

wrestling is pretty bad these days. glad monday night football is back on!

8:08 AM  

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