Tuesday, December 09, 2008

WWE Raw Report

Date: 12/08/08 from Philadelphia, PA.

The Big News: The Slammy Awards are here! Can you contain your excitement for these most monumental of awards? And they’re the same week as the Video Game Awards! Christmas has truly come early this year, my friends.

Show Analysis:

Miz and John Morrison won tag team of the year. They had a big, sarcastic celebration. This led into CM Punk beating John Morrison to advance to the finals of the Intercontinental title shot tournament. Punk hit knees, a springboard crossbody to the floor and a huracanrana off the top. Morrison followed with a back breaker and side Russian leg sweep. Punk went for go 2 sleep, but Morrison reversed with a victory roll for two. Punk then hit go 2 sleep for the pin. This was a very good opener.

John Cena backstage cut one of those annoying, obnoxious cutesy scripted promos that make adult males hate him and lose interest in WWE in general. He talked about banning his dog from watching wrestling, like Chris Jericho’s son. Cena said he was coming to get Jericho.

Evan Bourne won best finishing maneuver, but Mike Knox took his trophy. Randy Orton then came out to complain about not being nominated for superstar of the year despite having beaten all the nominees. He dated this disrespect back to his Evolution days, and challenged Batista and HHH to a handicap match against himself, Cody Rhodes and Manu. There’s something about even a heel asking for a handicap match that comes off badly. It’s like even he acknowledges Cody and Manu are inferior. Orton said “the legacy is born” so The Legacy may be the name of their group.

Charlie Haas beat MVP. Jimmy Rollins was at ringside, and MVP began berating him. MVP ran down the Phillies, said that they are a fluke, and that they would never be a dynasty. That brought out Haas, playing MVC and parodying MVP. MVP dominated the entirety of the match, but MVC rolled him up at the very end for the pin.

The extreme moment of the year was Jeff Hardy diving into a crash pad. It should have been Butterbean diving into a crash pad. Chris Jericho then defeated Jeff Hardy. Jeff missed the swanton, and Jericho hit the lionsault. Jeff hit the whisper in the wind and went for the twist of fate, but Jericho escaped and hit the code breaker for the pin. This was fine, but they didn’t give them much time.

Edge and Vickie Guerrero won couple of the year. Vickie came out to accept the award and was very happy until the overwhelming boos upset her. Santino complained about this, and challenged any of the other couples to a match. Finlay and Hornswoggle proceeded to beat Santino and Beth Phoenix. Finlay hit clotheslines and an atomic drop on Santino. Hornswoggle followed with an implant DDT and frog splash on Santino for the clean pin. Great, now he’s jobbing to midgets. They then announced Beth Phoenix as diva of year. She was helping up Santino, but dropped him to go celebrate. She ended up getting into a fight with Melina, who presented the award.

The Oh My God moment of the year came next. They brought back Joey Styles. No, that wasn’t the Oh My God moment of the year, although it could have been. Instead, Styles presented the award to CM Punk for winning the title. Punk came out and said it has been his miracle year. Well, except for the ending. He thanked a long list of random people including Volk Han and Scotty Goldman.

Rey Mysterio beat Kofi Kingston to advance to the finals of the Intercontinental title shot tournament. This was a short letdown of a match. Rey went for the 619 but Kofi cut him off with a dropkick. Kofi missed a springboard crossbody and Rey rolled him up for the pin.

Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair won match of the year. Michaels came out to accept the award, but was interrupted by JBL. JBL accepted the award on behalf of Michaels for himself. He then walked off with the trophy and left Michaels standing there looking sad. This was absolutely hilarious.

Randy Orton, Manu and Cody Rhodes beat HHH and Batista. The heels worked over HHH. Batista tagged in and hit a body slam and spine buster on Manu. Cody came off the top but Batista threw Manu into him. Orton tagged in and tried to hit an RKO on Batista as Batista tried to hit a Batista bomb on Manu. HHH, however, cut him off and Batista went for the Batista bomb. Cody stopped that and Orton hit the RKO on Batista for the pin. This was a nice finishing sequence.

The damn moment of the year was the Great Khali kiss cam. Khali came out to give a speech about conservation. Khali and Mickie were then about to make out, but Jillian Hall interrupted to sing My Heart Will Go On. Kung Fu Naki, Howard Finkel, Sgt. Slaughter and Jim Duggan came out to dance and wave flags in the background while Mickie and Khali made out. Ron Simmons said damn. I’ve hated most of these types of segments of late, but this one amused me.

Dolph Ziggler beat R. Truth via count out. Boy, they really put over Ziggler. Truth clotheslined him over the top and hit a pescado. However, as they fought on the outside Ziggler got in first and won via count out.

Chris Jericho won superstar of the year. He was happy that the biased fans didn’t have a vote. Jericho said he was happy to rid himself of the albatross that was trying to please the fans. He said that he was once like Cena, a pandering, patronizing sycophant. Amen, brother. Jericho said he would close out this year by destroying Cena and taking back the title. Good luck with that one, Chris.

John Cena beat Edge via disqualification. This match was absolutely nothing. It was one of those matches that make matches in general feel pointless and irrelevant in WWE. Cena hit the five knuckle shuffle and went for the FU. Edge escaped but got caught in the STFU. Jericho then came out and brawled with Cena for the DQ. Afterwards HHH and Jeff Hardy came in. HHH fought off Edge and Hardy and the show ended with him dominant in the ring.

Final Thoughts:

Given that there was no need whatsoever for a three hour Raw this week, WWE did a pretty good job filling those hours. The wrestling was underemphasized and big matches were treated as nothing which is a long term negative, but as a one night show it kept my interest.

There is often discussion as to why many fans don’t tune in an hour early for Raw, even when it’s advertised constantly. The reasoning usually concentrates on fans not paying very close attention to the show. Well, my theory is that those fans know the show is three hours but they just have no interest in watching an extra hour of Raw. Two hours a week is enough and no matter what WWE promises, they just don’t want to watch an extra hour.


Blogger s1rweeze said...

"John Cena backstage cut one of those annoying, obnoxious cutesy scripted promos that make adult males hate him and lose interest in WWE in general."

As much as you hate these promos (and as much as I do too), I think they're a necessary evil, because they're a big part of what gives Cena such incredible heat in any building.

And as good as both performers normally are, the JBL/HBK thing so far is laughably stupid. I really hope it's over after Armageddon.

Here's what I don't get about the three hour Raws - I understand that they're under a lot of pressure from USA to crank these out, but why not play to the advantage of the extra time, and put on longer matches? Kofi/Rey should have went at least 12 minutes just to see if Kofi can hang.

6:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loved the finish with Ziggler and R. Truth.

7:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude u totally missed the best thing on rAW last night. When Beth P and Melina was fighting MELINA'S BOOB POPPED OUT!! IT WAS AWESOME!!They cut the shot just as Teddy Long ran over to cover her up.

Dude I really hope you saw it coz it was the best ever


10:12 AM  

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