Classic Stuff From Sports Guy
You have to check out his NBA preview. Put down the drink before you do, because it's unbelievably hilarious. He should write a book about Isiah Thomas and the Knicks.
posted by Todd Martin at 5:51 PM
3 Comments:
Both parts 1 and 2 are fantastic reads (which from Simmons is about the equivalent of saying Chris Benoit occasionally has good matches, they're both automatic), but on a 1 to 10 for Simmons' usual brand of humor, I put it at a paltry 2. A couple chuckles, but he's been hot with his NFL Picks columns, so it's hard for this to live up.
Some highlights:
"7. The new basketballs
Yet another ingenious Stern move: Make a completely random change for no real reason at all (the dress code last year, the basketballs this year), get everyone complaining about the change and, eventually, steal some headlines from the NFL and playoff baseball in October. He's the best. I can't wait until next year's random new rule, which will definitely be something like "No chewing gum during games because it doesn't look classy" or "You have to wear NBA-approved bulletproof vests when you go to a club."
25. Jorge Garbajosa
Spanish forward on the Raptors. Looks like he should be wearing a linen suit and trying to shoot Crockett and Tubbs. It's hard to tell if he showers or not."
Hilarious.
"18. Grant Hill
Did you know his contract finally expires this season? Doesn't it feel like he signed that thing back in 1983? Anyway, I can't wait for the Magic to make a big deal about finally having cap space next summer, followed by their panicking when Vince Carter's agent hardballs them and eventually overpaying Eddie Jones and Kurt Thomas for a combined $95 million. That's gonna be great. I love the NBA."
Perfect example of the problems with the NBA.
I forgot to mention, I was drinking water while reading #7, and almost spit it out after reading the last sentence. I guess I should've taken your advice.
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