Tuesday, October 31, 2006

"ECW" Report

Oh My God!: ECW December to Dismember will feature an Elimination Chamber main event.

You Fucked Up: Just when you thought the ECW roster couldn’t get any worse, Great Khali debuted.

He’s Hardcore: Sabu was diving all over the place this evening.

The Extreme Rundown:

At the start of the show, Paul Heyman announced that Rob Van Dam had picked the date of his title match and it will occur at ECW December to Dismember. However, Heyman noted that the stipulations weren’t decided upon, so RVD would get his title shot in a six man Elimination Chamber. I don’t like this idea at all. I prefer the build of a singles match to a match with a bunch of different people where the issue and story is confused. That isn’t a big problem if you do a 6 man match every once in a while, but ECW doesn’t run many PPVs, so it would be nice to have the culmination of a singles feud at the rare PPVs. The brand has been mostly directionless because there hasn’t been a central issue for most of the show’s existence.

Additionally, the ECW talent roster is painfully thin. Sticking six stars in one match leaves basically nothing for the undercard. That means the undercard will either be historically awful or will have to feature lots of Raw and Smackdown wrestlers and make it feel like “just another pay-per-view.” I have one more exception to this that I will write about next week, since it involves spoilers from next week’s show.

1. Sabu beat Kevin Thorn to qualify for the Elimination Chamber. Sabu dominated most of the match. He hit a somersault plancha and splash from the apron to the ring. Thorn came back briefly by catching Sabu with a sit down power bomb. Sabu retaliated with a springboard leg lariat, springboard clothesline, springboard elbow, springboard into a tornado DDT and somersault leg drop from the apron. He applied the camel clutch for the submission. The match was fine. Sandman caned a clown backstage.

2. Daivari beat Shannon Moore. As if they didn’t have enough stiffs in ECW already, Great Khali is now on the roster. Considering they have five hours of new television every week, would it kill them to send some good wrestlers they aren’t using to ECW and make it a straight wrestling show? Instead we get one tall loser after another. They booked Daivari pretty strong here, but it’s not like he’ll ever be a singles attraction. Daivari jumped Moore, threw him into the post and hit a DDT for the pin. Khali gave Moore a choke slam after the match. Backstage, RVD said he would win the title at the Elimination Chamber. Hardcore Holly alluded to the gash he suffered against RVD, but noted now they would be partners.

They had a Halloween costume contest. Poor Colt Cabana was dressed up as a fairy at ringside. Does he understand that he is allowed to say no when WWE offers him work? I can understand jobbing to Eugene, but I see no possible benefit to dressing up as a fairy on national television. Well, at least he has all his toes. Anyway, Trinity won the contest, because she exposed the most skin. She dressed in police tape, Ariel dressed as herself, and Trinity dressed as CM Punk. An angry Mike Knox came in after the contest, but CM Punk quickly disposed of him with a springboard clothesline, punches, knees and a high kick. Backstage, Knox challenged Punk for next week.

3. Test and Big Show beat Rob Van Dam and Hardcore Holly. RVD hit a crescent kick and spin kick on Test, and Holly gave Test a clothesline. RVD followed with a springboard leg drop, drop kicked Test to the floor, and then hit a crossbody sending Test to the floor. Test worked over RVD briefly, but RVD hit a windmill kick and tagged Holly. Show caught Holly with a clothesline, head butt, choke, yakuza kick and elbow drop. Test threw Holly into the post. However, Show missed the corner elbow and Holly tagged RVD.

RVD came in with punches and kicks on Show. RVD hit a somersault senton off the top and rolling thunder. After a ref bump, Holly hit the Alabama slam on Test. RVD gave Show a kick off the top and drove Show into the post on the outside. At that point a man in a gorilla suit attacked RVD with a pipe from behind. He revealed himself to be Paul Heyman. This was amusing since I saw someone in a gorilla suit this afternoon walking home from school. I presume it wasn’t Heyman, but I can’t confirm that. Show gave RVD the choke slam in the ring and covered for the pin.

Please Don’t Go:

ECW is moving in the wrong direction. We aren’t getting the quality matches any more, the feuds are mostly uninspiring, and the lack of talent becomes all the more glaring by the week. It’s also frustrating to see diva contests, elimination chambers, ref bumps and an overabundance of tall losers beating into your head that this is just another WWE television show. Wrestling can succeed in a variety of different ways. Yet WWE in 2006 insists on this really narrow and flawed vision of what pro wrestling must be. A one hour ECW show without house shows and with few PPVs is a perfect time to experiment with different ideas. Instead, we get the same old shit.


Anonymous mean dean said...

Does the move to a big time gimmick match to pop a buy signal that WWE has a.) no faith in the RVD/Show feud as a draw, b.) no faith in RVD as a draw period, or c.) no faith in ECW as a PPV attraction?

I'm voting for all of the above.

6:02 AM  

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