Monday, October 16, 2006

Raw Report

Date: 10/16/06 from Los Angeles, CA.The Big News: WWE was in Los Angeles, and the company was not picky as far as “celebrity” usage.

Title Changes/Turns: None.

Match Results: Cryme Tyme b Johnny Jeter & Mikey Mondo; Jeff Hardy b Chris Masters, Super Crazy and Shelton Benjamin; Carlito Caribbean Cool b Rob Conway; Maria b Victoria, Candice Michelle and Torrie Wilson; Triple H b Randy Orton.Show Analysis:

The show started with Randy Orton and Edge dressed as DX doing old-timer mannerisms. I was worried they were going to do another tired parody, but they took off their accessories almost immediately. Edge basically said that DX’s routine is garbage, and Edge & Orton are the most talented men in the industry. They said only 12 year olds and idiots get off on DX’s type of humor. Amen. Orton said DX won’t do what they want any more. He showed more intensity, fire and charisma in his more important role, which is a good sign.

DX came to the ring. Michaels wanted to know if he looks like that much of an idiot when he comes to the ring. HHH said he wasn’t going to lie to Shawn, and then quickly turned his attention over to Orton and Edge. I thought this was hilarious, but wouldn’t you know it got no reaction. HHH made fun of Orton and Edge. He showed a picture of Edge at the live sex show with Lita, and said he couldn’t get aroused. He then decided he was fully aroused. HHH then labeled Orton the most downloaded wrestler on the web among the gay community, and showed half-naked pictures of Orton. He went to a picture of Michaels in Playboy, while Michaels got defensive.

Orton said the jokes are over and challenged HHH. HHH accepted, and they got into a fight with DX clearing the ring. This was a good opening segment. The tone of the feud should be Orton and Edge taking a more serious tone while DX jokes around and mocks them at first. That shouldn’t last too long, however, because Edge and Orton can’t be treated as laughing stocks like the McMahons, Spirit Squad, Highlanders, Cade & Murdoch, Viscera & Haas, Chris Masters and Jonathan Coachman.

Cryme Tyme beat Spirit Squad in a non-title match. JTG started off fast against Johnny with a hip lock and drop kick. Johnny and Mikey hit a double suplex on JTG and worked him over briefly. JTG hit a double neck breaker and made the tag. Shad came in with shoulder blocks, punches, clotheslines and a yakuza kick. The Squad tried to interfere, but JTG knocked one member off the top rope. Cryme Tyme then hit a Samoan drop/neck breaker combination for the finish. After the match, Kenny got into a big argument with the other members of the Squad and stormed off. He labeled them losers, and I’m glad they are finally distancing him from that gimmick.

Johnny Nitro and Melina said that they would have a special A-list guest celebrity, and the theme of this show was WWE featuring every fake celebrity they could find. I was seriously waiting for an appearance from Sy Sperling or Rhonda Shear. Elsewhere backstage, King Booker was chatting with Coach. Coach said Vince wanted all three champs in attendance for a big announcement. Cryme Tyme came in and made off with Booker’s wallet. Booker said he doesn’t speak ebonics, and then went into a livid tirade when he realized his wallet was gone.

Jeff Hardy won an Intercontinental Title fatal four-way. Hardy went for the twist of fate, but was caught with a Benjamin crescent kick. Crazy hit a drop kick off the top on Benjamin. Crazy went for a crucifix cradle and La Magistral on Masters for two counts. Masters caught Crazy in the Masterlock, but Benjamin broke it with a springboard Buff blockbuster on Masters. Hardy hit a mule kick on Crazy and whisper in the wind on Benjamin. Hardy back dropped Crazy over the top on Benjamin. Hardy then hit the twist of fate on Masters and the swanton for the pin. They are on a nice roll with these multi-person matches, which have been coming across better of late than they usually do.

Johnny Nitro announced his A-list guest, Kevin Federline. Of course he was booed, and he insulted the crowd. He called them posers. Federline has world class natural heel charisma, and I don’t mean that in a good way. He teased rapping and plugged his album, as if people would be frustrated by the fact he didn’t rap and rush out to buy his album. John Cena came out, and said the people shouldn’t be cheated out of a performance. He did a brief rap, noting Federline has Cena’s street cred and Paris Hilton’s talent. Nitro went after Cena, but Cena sent him out of the ring.

Big Show and King Booker came to the ring. Vince said that Cyber Sunday would feature a three way match with one of the champions defending his title based on the voting of the fans. This whole angle doesn’t strike me as compelling at all, but I guess we will see. Champion vs. champion vs. champion sounds important, but the DX-Orton/Edge match with a guest referee I think will mean more. Cena invited Federline back in the ring, and wanted to know who Federline would vote for. Federline said Cena, because he wants to see Cena get his ass whipped. Cena gave Federline the FU.

Carlito beat Rob Conway with chops, a drop kick, a springboard elbow, a knee lift, a clothesline, and the back cracker. He spit apple on Conway afterwards. Edge and Lita backstage spoke with Vince. Vince made a tag match with DX vs. Orton and Edge for Cyber Sunday. Edge wanted the fans to choose a special referee like Coach, Eric Bischoff or Vince. Vince liked the guest referee idea but didn’t say who the choices would be. That’s going to be the spot for Steve Austin, presumably.

They brought the guys from Jackass into the ring, and they acted like goofs. Sadly, nobody chanted “this is stupid.” They were asked their favorite superstars, and I swear to God I thought one of them started to say Shane McMahon. Armando interrupted, and wanted to know if they would do anything. They said yes, so he brought out Umaga. They treated this like a joke, taking off their shirts and laughing. Umaga beat them up, but one of them kept laughing so he got a splash off the top. It was not a good idea to let comedians anywhere near Umaga.

Maria won a four way bra and panties match, which was in the women’s title tournament. Apparently, this is a 7 woman tournament, where the first round is double elimination unless you’re Maria. Boy, if they keep this up the women’s title is going to end up as more of a joke than Joey Ryan’s. Maria won the match by stripping Torrie.

HHH beat Randy Orton. HHH dominated basically the entire match. He sent Orton to the outside, and hit a knee drop. Lita came to ringside to distract him. Orton sent him over the top and Edge gave him a DDT on the floor. HHH then came back with punches, a high knee and a face buster. He went for the pedigree, but Edge got on the apron. Orton took that opportunity to hit a neck breaker, but HHH came back with a spine buster.

Lita got on the apron and Edge gave HHH a low blow. Michaels sent Edge into the post in retaliation. Lita gave Orton a chair, but Michaels came in with a low blow and HHH hit Orton with the chair for the pin. DX should be winning at this point since the story is Edge and Orton are frustrated and angry at DX, but this was almost squash like in terms of the relative offense the two men got.

Final Thoughts:

The show was good. The new feuds are a breath of fresh air. There is too much goofiness, however.


Anonymous Mean Dean said...

I love how Shad says "boom!" every time he strikes someone.

The thing that really bothered me was how Orton and Edge (more so Orton) reacted to D-X showing the pictures and mocking them. That's exactly the kind of stuff they're supposed to be angered about, but their reactions, especially Orton's were too much like bumbling heels.

8:15 AM  
Blogger nevs999 said...

"HHH said he wasn’t going to lie to Shawn, and then quickly turned his attention over to Orton and Edge. I thought this was hilarious, but wouldn’t you know it got no reaction."

I agree Todd - this one of those moments when I actually laughed in the direction of my television for the right reasons. However, I don't expect the real, living, breathing humor to last.

- Matt in Anchorage

12:23 PM  

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