Tuesday, June 13, 2006

ECW Report

Oh My God!: Did this show ever suck.

You Fucked Up: By airing this as the first ECW show.

He’s Hardcore: The Zombie.

The Extreme Rundown:

The show’s not live because the Sci-Fi suits are worried about the profanity that will come from the Smackdown audience. All we need is Don Callis and we’re right back to the Network angle. The show started with a video package built around Rob Van Dam, Kurt Angle and Big Show. The ECW wrestlers are buried, and the WWE wrestlers are the stars, with a few washed up ECW headliners thrown in. If this is going to work they have to feature new stars that are not associated strongly with WWE and have potential.

Paul Heyman started the show by introducing Rob Van Dam. RVD was booed. He’s still doing crappy scripted promos, but at least is cockier. Heyman presented him with the new ECW Title, which got more boos. RVD said he would keep both. Edge came out and said regardless of what he thinks of ECW, he respects RVD.

They both won Money in the Bank, took the title and broke the glass ceiling. He shook hands with RVD, but then speared him. Joey Styles denounced this “disrespectful” and “Raw” behavior, as if attacking a man was somehow unbecoming of ECW. John Cena attacked Edge in the crowd, and all three ended up getting into it. Cena punched Heyman and left. Heyman backstage told the ECW wrestlers that if Raw wanted to invade ECW, ECW would invade Raw on Monday. All the wrestlers chanted ECW.

1. Sandman beat the Zombie. The idea seemed to be to mock the idea that they would feature wrestling zombies, but just having the zombie out there was embarrassing, Sci-Fi Network mockery or not. Sandman isn’t the same without Enter Sandman, and he got very little reaction. He gave Zombie a bunch of cane shots and hit the White Russian leg sweep for the pin. He beat Zombie to the back. For some reason, they replayed the Tazz-Lawler match from One Night Stand next.

2. Kurt Angle beat Justin Credible in a total squash. I’m cool with that. While Credible was positioned high at the end of ECW, he was never that good. Angle applied the rear naked choke for the tap out. I like the idea of Angle winning with different MMA holds and educating the audience. He has the intensity to pull it off. Angle accepted Randy Orton’s challenge for Vengeance and said he would make him tap.

Paul Heyman backstage said he was throwing out his plans for the night and making an extreme battle royal with all weapons legal. The winner would face John Cena at Vengeance. Outside a vampire was lurking. Kelly came out and did a strip tease on a stage.

3. Sabu won the extreme battle royal, which also featured Tommy Dreamer, Al Snow, Roadkill, Danny Doring, Stevie Richards, Little Guido, Tony Mamaluke, Big Guido, Balls Mahoney and Big Show. Trinity was with the FBI, and she looks much better than I had been led to believe. Show was the star of the match, throwing everyone around like jobbers. He gave Roadkill a fall away slam and threw Dreamer out through a table. He basically eliminated everyone until Sabu attacked him from behind with a chair and Big Guido helped pull him over the top.

Please Do Go:

Yes, this was utter crap. It had nothing of what made ECW successful, everything that makes WWE suck and a good amount of what made WCW go out of business thrown in just for good measure.


Anonymous mdh2877 said...

that has to be the most disappointed i have ever been after watching a wrestling show.ive finally gotten excited about wrestling again and this is the shit i get for getting my hopes up.thanks vince your an ass

11:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This show was a disaster in everyway possible, short of the fans actually starting small brushfires in the audience out of their sheer boredom. If it came off this bad on television, with the post-production work, imagine how awful it was for the crowd, especially when the majority of them are just waiting to see Rey Mysterio get pinned by Randy Mulkey. I got the zombie joke, but the Sandman entrance took so long that only a zombie would have waited around that long to get hit with a big bamboo stick. RVD is, to me, a symphony of yawns...his work is sloppy, his mic work sounds as though he were reading off cue cards..in fact, you could see him waiting for Heyman to cue him for something. The crowd didn't care about him at all. Maybe WWE is right sometimes in who they push and don't..eh? The worst part was the stripper...WTF? Was this just a cheesier version of proving to the audience that ECW=LCD? (there's a new t-shirt for ya!)Nobody cared, and it came off as sexy as watching yer sister get drunk at her sweet sixteen party and decide to show Uncle Bill her new panties. Sabu is 900 years old and if the people are upset that guys like Justin Credible are jobbed out....this is Kurt Angle! Credible is a jobber, for god sake. They need to get new faces in that locker room NOW, and never let Al Snow or anybody else work, or this will make XFL look like the national pasttime. Embarrassing. But, maybe that was the plan all along. Kill the body and the head will, finally, die. But, my guess is it's just another bad idea from Titan Towers. Mistah McMahon....he dead.

5:31 AM  
Anonymous The masterbater said...

So basically I was watching a very bad version of Raw it felt like. Why are they in the same arena as WWE? I thought they were going to be seperate that meaning separate arenas not same taped with smackdown? I just don't get this show? WHY WHY WHY? Tod are you sure that Haymen is in charge of ECW or is it Titan? Tell ME WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? It makes me not even want to watch it next week? WHY SHOULD I when it feels like they are promoting for RAW next week rather than there own promotion.

6:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had a feeling I was watching Thunder. I can't fathom a reason why I would watch this next week. They need to start filming their shows in front of real ECW crowds to have any chance. The smackdown crowd was beyond dead.

8:21 AM  
Blogger Swain said...

You know, 24 hours ago I was upset that I wouldn't be able to watch the show up here in the Canadian entertainment wasteland.

Its amazing how things can change in a day.

Now I'm glad that WWECW isn't available in Canada. Nothing from these recaps makes me think I'm missing anything.

Although the Zombie is intriguing. In a car crash kinda way.

9:20 AM  
Blogger 17Haze said...

Horrible. The crowd was dead. As has been said before ECW must be taken out of Smackdown arenas to be successful. RVD wouldn't be getting booed in a ECW arena. The fans just crapped on everything they did which made things worse than they already were.

I was all pumped for this first edition and man did it dissapoint. I enjoyed the first segment but after that things were just awful.

You knew the night was bad when the stripper took forever trying to get her own bra off and she still couldn't get the damn thing off. This thing needs changes and quick!

9:47 AM  
Anonymous dm said...

I loved the Zombie, and I hope he's a regular on ECW. (Unless ECW actually gets moving pretty nicely, but until then the Zombie is a big draw for me.)

Like everyone else, I didn't like seeing Credible job to Angle so badly.

The other draw for me right now is Trinity. Ohmygosh did she ever look spectacular!

I think the Big Show needs a lot of work, but he can work. Get him new ring attire, new music, and work on establishing him as a monster without overpushing him (like they seemed to do last night); of course, that assumes ECW stays on TV long enough.

Heyman clearly had almost no creative input on this show. That Heyman was going to have control had me believing ECW might work; so much for that! :(

1:10 PM  
Blogger Bobcat said...

I also loved the match between Sandman and The Zombie. To me, nothing says "good feud" like a man creeping through a ring, issuing gutteral screams into a mic, and then getting hit many times in the head with a cane. In fact, I want to see a running feud between Sandman and The Zombie. Tazz and Styles can frame the feud for next week's episode by saying, "We hear that The Zombie wants to respond to Sandman!? What's he going to say?!?" Zombie: "Uhh!! Uhh!!" Then Sandman would enter and hit him with a cane. Fans would freak out with joy.

Or, they could have a series of monster-jobbers for the Sandman to destroy: next week it could be a man in a cheap werewolf costume, then a Frankenstein's monster, then a creature from the black lagoon. Each of them could scream incomprehensible epithets into the mics and then get beaned.

Then people would have a reason to care about Sandman.

2:11 PM  
Anonymous steve khan said...

I just saw the show finally, and yeah, it was pretty bad. I didnt think it was as terrible as some people, but that might be because it just felt like I was watching a WWE show, and it just ended up being like another bad RAW or Smackdown.

11:59 AM  

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