Monday, April 24, 2006

Raw Report

Date: 04/23/06 from London, England.

The Big News: None.

Title Changes/Turns: None.

Match Results: Charlie Haas, Rob Van Dam & Carlito Caribbean Cool b Shelton Benjamin, Matt Striker & Chris Masters; Shawn Michaels b Shane McMahon-DQ; Umaga b Steve Lewington; Mikey Mondo, Kenny Doane, Nicky Nemeth & Johnny Jeter b Edge, John Cena & Triple H.

Show Analysis:

Edge came out to start the show and said he will be champion at Backlash. That brought out HHH, who made note of Edge’s title run and said he can go, just not very long. He called him the premature superstar. There were chants of Triple H. HHH was good in this more sarcastic face role, which makes me more optimistic about the new DX. HHH said Edge isn’t in his league until he wins the title ten times.

Edge said he doesn’t need to go a long time, but only three seconds. He wanted to know why HHH is even in the match, given he lost at Mania and has never beaten Edge. Edge suggested HHH has used Vince McMahon to get his opportunity. HHH said the title means everything to him and he will do anything to win it. John Cena came out and brawled with HHH, while Edge left.

Charlie Haas, Rob Van Dam and Carlito beat Shelton Benjamin, Matt Striker and Chris Masters in a fun little match. RVD and Haas cleaned the ring early, and RVD hit a somersault plancha to the floor. The heels gained control, sending RVD into the steps. They worked him over until he made the hot tag to Haas. Haas came in with clotheslines and a brawl broke out where the legal participants were forgotten.

Carlito hit a back cracker on Benjamin, but Masters applied the Masterlock to Carlito. Haas broke that up and hit a German suplex on Masters. Benjamin hit the T-Bone on Carlito, but RVD hit a kick off the top on Benjamin and followed with rolling thunder and the five star frog splash for the pin.

Vince was interviewed. He dismissed last week’s events as a series of coincidences, not acts of God. He announced he fired the pyrotechnics guy. He said God wasn’t in London, so Shawn and Shane would go one on one. Shane swore to God Shawn wouldn’t leave the ring on his own power. Big Show confronted Kane backstage as a friend, and wanted to know Kane’s problem. May 19 came up, and Kane told Show not to say that again or else. Show said May 19, so Kane attacked him and tried to gouge out Show’s eye. Well, he did say not to say that, big guy.

Victoria, Maria, Torrie and Candice had a bikini contest. It was nothing you haven’t seen before. Coach announced Candice at the winner, and said for her prize she would get to make out with Coach. Viscera intervened, and gave Coach the Samoan drop and the simulated sodomy. Candice seemed to like this. Viscera then made out with Candice. I guess maybe this means she is a face, but associating someone with Viscera is not the way I would turn them.

Shawn Michaels beat Shane McMahon via DQ, I suppose. Shane controlled the match early with knees and back breakers. He missed a moonsault, and Shawn came back with punches, an inverted atomic drop, clotheslines, a body slam, and an elbow off the top. He went for sweet chin music, but Vince stopped him. Shawn was going to come off the top rope and drive Vince through the announce table, but Shane gave Shawn a low blow. He then hit an elbow off the top, putting Shawn through the announce table. Vince said God won’t be at Michaels’ side at Backlash, and added that both Shawn and God have no chance in hell. He added a hallelujah and a few amens. Backstage, John Cena and Edge had a brief conversation where Cena said Edge is going down.

Umaga beat Steve Lewington in a basic squash. Styles did a good job selling the destruction. Umaga won with the thumb to the throat and the pin. Ric Flair did a run-in after the match and these two will meet at Backlash. Backstage, Lita tried to appease HHH, and promote unity for the main event. HHH made a sarcastic remark about Lita knowing all about taking on five men at the same time.

Mickie James came out, and is back to being Mickie. She said she got a little carried away with the Trish stuff. She knows she is Mickie, and better than Trish. Trish came out still acting like Mickie. They tried to do a gimmick where Trish would say what Mickie was trying to say, but it failed miserably. They brawled, and Trish hit the chick kick. I wish they hadn’t dropped Mickie playing Trish so abruptly. It was working.

Spirit Squad had a match with HHH, John Cena and Edge. It just sort of ended for no reason. It is really a shame the Spirit Squad have this gimmick, because the five man gang warfare gimmick works really well and these guys might be getting over if they weren’t saddled with a gimmick guaranteed to fail. Aren’t bookers supposed to package guys to ensure success rather than failure?

This was a pretty bland match. The main eventer would gain the advantage, but the Spirit Squad would use their numbers advantage to take control back. Eventually Cena and HHH fought off the Squad. Cena hit the FU on Mikey and HHH hit the pedigree on Kenny. Edge left the ring. HHH and Cena had a stare down and started to fight with each other. And with that, the show ended.

Final Thoughts:

This show was bland and inoffensive. It was kind of a waste of time, really, but there wasn’t anything wrong with it either. I hope God turns heel on Sunday.


Anonymous Justin Shapiro said...

I wish they'd give Rob more lines so we could have "what the over RVD would be saying if he didn’t have hack script writers putting words in his mouth" as an ongoing feature.


12:39 PM  
Anonymous CometVS said...

[i]Viscera intervened, and gave Coach the Samoan drop and the simulated sodomy. Candice seemed to like this. [b]Viscera then made out with Candice.[/b][/i]

What the heck!

I do remember on Unlimited they had Candice walking around backstage and she bumps into Viscera. She ends up sucking on his finger. So that led to this. Lucky bastid!

4:53 AM  

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