Friday, December 08, 2006

Bad Fight Drives Dave Insane

From the Strike Force play by play, for those of you who weren't checking for those results:

"Vernon (Tiger) White vs. Bobby Southworth for the "world" light heavyweight title in a five round fight is next. People evidently have stopped associating Bobby Southworth with UFC 1 because he got a nice cheer. Usually Southworth gets booed here even though he's local.Round one: Southworth took him down right away. He's throwing body shots. Got White' bgack. Southworth throwing knees to the body. White reversed. South went for a triangle from his back. Both are now up. Crowd was booing as nothing happened late in the round. I'd give the round to Southworth.

Second round: Southworth took him down again. White got to hiws feet. Crowd is turning on this match. Southworth got his finger in White's eyes so they had to call for a time out. Ken Shamrock was in White's corner. Southworth took White down again with a leg trip. He's throwing some body shots. Southworth's round.

Third round: Southworth landed a high kick and took White down. Slow-paced and the crowd isn't happy. Funny thta there was no booing all night whehn things went to the ground. All the booing is when things are standing. Southworth got another takedown. And then nothing happened again. I wonder if they should chanhge the rules to allow fans to throw in the towel? Round over. Fans are not happy. I think they'd leave early except Cung Le is still to come. I'd give the round to Southworth.

Fourth round: White tried to run in and punch and got taken down. Somebody needs to send Chris Leben in with a steel chair or something. Lots of people are walking out right about now. Maybe just bathroom break. This round seems like it was five hours. A few more minutes of this and I'll be confessing to any crime they accuse me of. Crowd is chanting "You suck." Not sure who is "you." This was worse than Sylvia vs. Monson round five. Southworth did get a takedown so I guess he won the round. Too bad they don't have rain outs in MMA.

Fifth round: Now I'm ready to watch Stevie Richards in drag against Tyson Tomko. Southworth took him down. White got up. You guys have three minutes to go and the world title is on the line. Southworth got him down again. Okay, I killed Jon Benet Ramsey and that blond girl in Aruba. And Nicole, so lay off O.J. These two are being booed out of the building with 15 seconds left. Eric was right. I killed WCW also. I saw Belfort vs. Overeeem live, and that match was like watching Flair and Steamboat compared to this.

Crowd booed the decision before Jimmy Lennon Jr. even announced it. They tried to down it out so we couldn't hear it. 49-46, 50-46 and 50-45 and NEW WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION BOBBY SOUTHWORTH. Southworth is on the mic. He's getting more heat than Iron Sheik could ever dream of getting. I have no idea what he said because they drowned it out. Thank got it was over. I'll be having this fight in my nightmares for some time to come."

Wow. Pick it up on DVD, folks!


Anonymous Justin Shapiro said...

Tragically the best parts have now been removed. :( Dave is on some kind of awesomely ridiculous roll between that and last month's

"--The Tuesday WWE press conference at Madison Square Garden will be to announce the Tribute to the Troops show, that will be taped in Iraq and will be airing on Christmas night in the U.S. on USA. Vince McMahon, JBL (who came up with the idea), Lillian Garcia (who father was in the military), Carlito (whose father is known for covering up massacres), Torrie Wilson and Bobby Lashley (a former U.S. army Sergeant) will be appearing."

1:59 PM  
Blogger Todd Martin said...

That's tremendous. I actually totally missed that.

2:19 PM  

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