Wednesday, July 19, 2006

"ECW" Report

Well, I hope you learned a valuable lesson about the fallibility of my VCR.

Oh My God!: The Great Khali made his long anticipated ECW debut, attacking Undertaker during his main event match with the Big Show.

You Fucked Up: Nothing too egregious this week.

She’s Hardcore: Kelly Kelly took a cane shot to the head. They tried to give her charisma by osmosis with Candice last week, so perhaps this week they were attempting to beat charisma into her.

The Extreme Rundown:

1. Mike Knox beat Sandman. Kelly Kelly did her strip tease and was interrupted again by Knox. Knox was angry at her for getting him caned last week, and wanted her in the corner to watch what he would do to Sandman. Knox went after Sandman at the onset with punches, rammed him into the announce table, and choked him with a chord. Sandman came back and went after Knox with the cane, but hit Kelly instead. Knox then used a pair of low blows for the pin. He left Kelly behind, and she was taken off on a stretcher. On the plus side, this is the way ECW should be booked. You push older ECW stars just enough so they will mean something and give credibility in losing to younger stars. The negative is their choices for these pushes.

Paul Heyman came out, accompanied by the riot squad. He implored the children to drink the Kool-Aid, and said he senses confusion from fans who can’t keep up with his intellect. Tommy Dreamer interrupted. He said he has been with Heyman since the beginning, and never demanded anything because he had Heyman’s back. However, he said that Heyman owes an explanation to the locker room and the fans. Heyman answered by planting a firm kiss on Dreamer’s lips. Test attacked Dreamer from behind and hit the TKO. I’m not sure what exactly to make of this segment, but presumably this was some sort of mind game.

2. Sabu beat Steven Richards. This was not extreme rules, so the story of the match was that Sabu can wrestle as well. It’s the old WWE problem of wanting everyone to adapt to the same style. It’s particularly ridiculous for Sabu, who doesn’t offer much without these shortcuts. He did mat wrestling early, and Richards resorted to brawling in response. Sabu came back with a clothesline, somersault leg drop, and a springboard into a DDT. He applied the camel clutch for the submission. Vampire and Ariel backstage drew the death card for Big Show’s title defense. They aired vignettes for Shannon Moore, Balls Mahoney, and CM Punk again. The announcers sold Big Show vs. Undertaker as some sort of dream match throughout the show. It was really weird, because this sort of plodding big man match is something Styles mocked very frequently in ECW.

3. Big Show and Undertaker fought to a no contest. It’s a good thing I didn’t try to watch this show at 11PM last night, because I surely would have fallen asleep. This match was ungodly boring. They punched, kicked and used head butts for what seemed like 90 minutes. They did a superplex spot, and that was about it. Great Khali then came out, and Khali and Show sent Undertaker through the table with a double choke slam. Yes, folks, ECW was a platform this week for Big Show, Undertaker and Great Khali.

Please Don’t Go:

They really should just go ahead and change the name of this show. This is a bad WWE show, which has little in common with ECW, or for that matter, what WWE was doing very well before it completely lost its way early this decade. They have already destroyed the good name of their promotion. Why destroy the good name of another promotion that was dead and buried?
Since they’re splitting up the Spirit Squad, Ken Doane is a perfect choice to send over to ECW to establish as a new character and push strong. These shows would feel fresher and more authentic, and would be more productive, if he were in the Big Show’s position.

3 Comments:

Anonymous MAZ said...

Hate to hear that they are going to split up the Spirit Squad. They're cocky, brash, arrogant and they grate on your nerves, but they are one of the few bright spots on RAW.

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When the Spirit Squad made their first appearance on Raw, my first thought was what the... But soon they started to grow on me and I was rooting for them. It's a shame they were jobbed out to DX. I think they could have done a better angle with DX vs. the Spirit Squad by letting the SS put up more of a fight. They were on the right track this past Monday only to screw it all up by having Triple H miraculously come back with his sledgehammer to wipe out everybody. On a side note, didn't they say that the SS came from under the ring? Did they not notice the sledgehammer down there? Oh those writers!

I think that Ken Doane will do fine by himself as a heel but it will be interesting what happens to the rest of them. Are they charismatic enough to hold their own without the Spirit Squad angle? Time will tell but I won't be surprised if at least three of them go back to OVW.

10:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Todd, I was thinking Heyman's kiss to Dreamer could be like the "kiss of death" in the Godfather before Michael Corleone has his brother killed. I could be off base on that. BTW, I look forward to reading your write-ups every week, even though I haven't watched Raw or Smackdown in ages. Thanks for your work & for writing about the MMA scene. I've been a big fan since UFC 2.

11:06 PM  

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